excerpts from death letters

It's been fun.

2005-09-08T02:25:00.000+08:00

All good things must come to an end. And leaving this space is a good thing.
I'm at ELJAY now. BADHANDWRITING, YO

EBS SLEEPOVER + FOOL'S STOP

2005-09-03T00:43:00.000+08:00

EBS SLEEPOVER.

The Elitist Bastards' Squadron had our second sleepover/movie marathon of the year on Thursday. It started off pretty late actually. The whole process of getting everyone to come down to Janice's house itself was somewhat troublesome. Some of us had babysitting duties. Others, like myself, were locked out of the house for a ridiculous amount of time and therefore could not have arrived earlier. Nevertheless, when we all got there, we watched some pretty good movies.

All our illegal material came from our one and only movie whore, Vincent. He usually provides us with the shit we need for an awesome movie marathon.

Here's the line-up.

Jackass: The Movie.
Totally hilarious, however, in retrospect, we decided that it was completely incongruous with the rest of the movies we watched during our stay. We're supposed to be pretentious, not silly. Jackass, does not qualify as pretentious. Sorry Mr Knoxville. [tangent] And I think Knoxville is an absofuckinglutely cool surname. I should get a pet and name it that. It'd die rather quickly though. I can't even take care of my discman by at least making sure that it looks to be in a visually appealing state, what more another living thing. [/tangent]

28 Days Later
Visually stimulating. Too many fucking montages, I swear. The movie draws several thematic parallels to the real world which is really kind of awesome when we talked about it. I thought it was OMFG boring at first, but once we discussed how the dark humour was brilliantly interweaved with the political and social undertones, I think my opinion of it sort of changed. The earlier parts were unbearable, I suppose. That's the only critique I can give.

Sin City
Forget 28 Days Later. Sin City is a visual ORGASM. I didn't really quite understand the whole story though. There were one too many protagonists. Too many prostitutes, [well not that I'm complaining or anything], too many villains with artificially deep, gruff voices. It's a star studded ensemble. It's very reminiscient of Kill Bill. Sin City was probably nothing more that something that's pretty to watch. Kind of like, neon lights. Wait, forget Sin City, Alexis Bledel was a fucking orgasm.

Interval. Or something like it.
Some of us fell asleep during Sin City. I managed to keep awake through it all though. I dozed off a little during 28 Days Later. Anyway, we didn't start watching movies again until, some time later in the afternoon.

Requiem for a Dream
I loved this movie. I still love it. I want to watch it again. Except for the fact that it's largely an anti-drug propaganda movie, I thought it was rather brilliant. Jennifer Connelley is a sex goddess. It was wonderfully executed. It discussed the detriments of addiction in such a realistic yet fashionable way and a few themes of psychological conflict and human flaws. There are so many things one can do in times of desperation, and the decisions one makes because of it are hardly respectable.

If not for Janice's sad and dysfunctional DVD remote control, we could've watched some foreign films. We can never do without subtitles even if we're watching a movie in English. Jared Leto has this habit of slurring that is so OMFG disgusting. But he has nice eyes. =((

Oh and anyway, CAMWHORE-AGE!

It is after all, a sleepover

There are so many things about Janice's house that's picture worthy.
And throughout the whole time we were there, we were too.
Oh, blurry =(
The aliens are coming!? Here? Now?
This one is way too cute to be Janice.
You know how puffer fishes activate their defense mechanisms when threatened?I am somehow convinced that it's rather ineffective. It's rather humorous actually.

FOOL'S STOP

Today, Izyanti made her acting debut on the CJC stage! She acted as Lucy Fer, of an originally written script. I honestly couldn't understand most parts of it, as in the whole storyline, but some parts were really amusing. I did however manage to catch on to the whole moral story behind it though. The whole thing about Hating the Sin, Not the Sinner. Iz was on the stage like 90% of the time. We are all very proud of her. Indeed.

And of course, we all know I never leave home without my trusty DIGICAM, Percy.

Pre-show Camwhoreness 1.
Pre-show Camwhoreness 2.
Izyanti, as Lucy Fer.
Pretty group shot.
Those were the flowers we bought her. Rattling them violently was the only way she could express her appreciation. Izyanti and Charmaine.
Janice, being unnecessarily defiant.
Vincent and Matthew forgetting that they are 'in the Presence of God'
Kinky.
Once again. We are proud of you dearie.

MATTHEW GUESTBLOGS! RAHH!

2005-08-29T20:48:00.000+08:00

matt made mahts mad
^ could be a drama warmup tongue-twister.

Um, like, HI! Like, I'm, uh, Matt Crawshaw, and um, this is my, uh, first, uh, time, like, like, like - oh yah - guest blogging. And, like, I try not to talk like I am mentally deficient all the time. Because that would just cement a reputation for being totally and utterly stoned and less-sharp-than-a-blunt-thing. Also, it would also associate myself with being blond, an title that is eternally owned by Hazri and therefore best avoided by me.

Saturday yielded for Hazri and me (and the rest of the drama people involved) considerable amounts of the Queer Phenomenon known as Theatre High. (Though perhaps it is queer only because it's AC, but that is another topic entirely.) This is because we had just wrapped up our drama obsession for the past month and a half, a play at the Arts House.

It was minimalist, the sort where a a couple of people in the front talk a bit and a whole bushel of people at the back shout randomly into the faces of the audience, spit flying every where. Ergo, very pretentious. But everyone was very happy once we'd completed it, audience members giving most appreciative praise, the Madams being suitably impressed, and the cast and crew patting each other on the back. This despite the subject matter of the play being disgustingly depressing in nature, but oh well, such is such.

One of the most strangely fascinating parts of the production process was the make-up that day. Stef did a bang-up job, making people look scary and punched-in-the-face. Hazri became a consumate teeniegoth maht (a weird synthesis I know - *watches the Maht-and-Minah Brigade brandishing their tapereds angrily*). His hair was stuck to his pait, and his eyes heavily shadowed to give the impression of a washed-up druggie. Damn scary lah.

The thing about the theatre process is (yes, I've finally settled on a topic to ramble about) that it inevitably entails gratuitous amounts of suffering, on everyone's part, to get the play right. And though we may have practised for 20 nights to get a 1-hour performance right, the returns are worth it. I don't know if it's stupidity to put so much effort into such a transient and fleeting illusion, but one hopes that the effect the play had on the audience members will be substantial enough for them to find the evening worth it. And if they did, those involved in it will too.

Specifically to the play we did, In Quest of Conscience, which was a recount of the events at a jewish work/death camp during World War II in Poland, the illusion created was that of the sufferings of the Jews. But instead of just blaming the Nazis for their barabarism, it looked at the moral dilemmas of the people running the camp, showing how by fear and compulsion they rationalised and justified their grim jobs. And how far can we blame them for trying to stay alive themselves, or for attempting to keep their families safe? Surely the lives of one German nuclear family is nothing compared to the 1.2 million jews murdered at Treblinka, but men are partial to their own relations. And just how wrong is that?

It's like friendships (watch me meander from the topic) - some friends are better than others. Can one be blamed for being closer to someone and not someone else? I mean, yes, we should exercise brotherly love for everyone, but if everyone loved everyone else equally, the world would be a much more confused place. Some things just cannot be equal.

At the end, the jews suffered because of one man's hate (HEIL HITLER - not!) and the inability of his subordinates to find a brotherhood of equality with them; and politics in friendships occur because one trusts a friend more than he trusts another; and theatre must take a back seat because other things have suddenly becoming more important. All matters of effing priorities. And there you go, Something Prosaic. Well, I tried.

And yes, like, you could search for a central theme in this post and probably not find one, the meantime in which I will resume the gibbering, pointless venacular, of like, like, a total, um, bimbo. Like, and then I'll say, 'goodbye', you know? And then, I'll, like, blame it on, uh, that Queer Phenomenon thing I just kinda remember talking about. Um, yah.

Toodles.

LAILA J. GUESTBLOGS!

2005-08-25T23:15:00.000+08:00

exam neurosis: right now my brain is numb

I want to be a BOBO. That's right, a BOBO. A Bourgeois Bohemian [laila's word of the day], so that i'll be able to quit school, sit on whatever education I have, slack around the whole day and write over-emo nonsensical poetry all day long. And the best part is that no one would say anything cause that's what BOBOs are supposed to do.

What a great plan!

What's the point in this whole paper chase madness anyway? Everyone's so obsessed over grades and marks over subjects they don't even give a hoot about. Everyone wants to be a doctor, without realising that there're less than 300 places in the local med school every year. And some deluded parents STILL think that learning the sciences is definitely better than indulging in the arts.

So do not say anything more about me being impractical, nonsensical and foolish for doing what I think is right. Yes, my subject combination is foolish. Yes, my idealogy is seemingly screwed, idealistic and unrealistic. Yes, I am not primarily motivated by monetary and material success. I am doomed a dreamer's life, forever chasing an illusion which won't ever materialize.

But whatever man, let me be the BOBO that I want to be.

[NB. do not take me TOO seriously in this entry.]

We gave up everything.

2005-08-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

do you feel sick when you read it?
do you think that I can feel it faster?
away with the rose I gave.

do you wear it with confidence?
are you aware that I can feel it faster?
away with the rose I gave.

are you aware that I'm falling faster?
are you aware that I'm falling faster?
just like she said
behind closed doors

It's been this way for as long as I remember

Saosin - Uphill Battle

Ugh, can't sleep.

2005-08-25T01:42:00.000+08:00

It's 1.42am. I hate nights like these. It's one of those days where you know you should be sleeping because you've got a long day tomorrow, but something's just keeping you awake. On most occasions, it's that uncontrollable anticipation that keeps you from falling asleep, but I don't think that is the case.

I sure hope this rash goes away soon. Perhaps that's why I can't sleep. My mind's in this state of unrest. Today, I learnt that God will never place anything upon you that which you cannot bear. I should be proud of myself, that He knows I am a fighter.

Nothing'll get me down. Because I'll always come back, stronger, and ready.

Sometimes, I do wonder why these things happen. Perhaps I should stop asking this. How can you tell the reason behind anything unfortunate that falls upon you? Am I being punished? Or is this a test?

I'm not tired. I'm just frustrated. But I won't back down. I sure hope He knows how long I can take this before I reach my breaking point, because I myself don't even know where that is. Patience is a virtue, if I was to refer to an old cliche. And neither is it beneficial to indulge in wishful thinking, because when it doesn't turn out the way you want it to, the disappointment will be far more devastating than it should've been.

The medicine is not working. It's supposed to make me feel drowsy. I feel cheated. Grr.

Tomorrow is going to be hell. =((

The pain is somewhat bearable now.

2005-08-24T09:42:00.000+08:00

I haven't spoken much today. It's hard to, especially when your body does things which are beyond your control.

Yesterday, I left school around 2-ish, to go meet my parents at Bugis MRT before heading for Ong's Clinic. My mother had a similar rash a few weeks ago, and recommended that I visited the same doctor. The doctor told me that I have some kind of fungal infection, that had spread to parts of my skin.

He was being very explicit about it all. He even drew some anatomical diagrams to explain what actually happened and what caused this. It's got a lot to do with hygiene, which is somewhat linked to my high metabolic rate.

My bodily functions are like, whoa. So I prespire easily. I'm not uncomfortable about it though. I've grown accustomed to it actually. I don't sleep with the fan blasting at my face. My brother wants our room temperature to emulate that of a temperate country, which is not the smartest thing to do because our bodies have been made to adapt to tropical climates. I usually sleep outside on the yellow couch. It's very snug out there. The windows are opened for minimal ventilation.

In short, I am rather particular about my sleeping environments. I don't mind being interrupted mid-sleep though. I'll just wake up later, that's all, which might become quite problematic knowing how early I have to be up for school.

Anyway, back to the whole fungal infection theory. Yeah, so when you perspire a lot, the conditions are optimal for fungal growth. They latch onto one spot on your body, and that's like the main factory. Then you'll start to itch, and the common reaction is to scratch that area. Spores from the growth attach themselves under your fingernails, then you scratch some other part of your body. Soon, the rashes spread all over your body, and you'll start itching all over.

I have to take a few pills, for the itching, and some antibiotics. He also gave me cream and a special antibacterial soap bar. The cream smells odd. It's rather disgusting. The yellow itching pill makes me drowsy. I am not myself today because of it.

Anyway, this morning, I woke up late again, so I had no choice but to take a taxi to school. I wasted $13.80 on cab fare. =((

I was saving up to buy some new clothes. Ugh.

I didn't have time to put the cream on the affected areas, so I'm feeling rather irate about all the rashes I have to tend to.

I hope you guys enjoyed the PICSPAM. I'll post more pictures soon, promise

LAST TUESDAY'S PICSPAM!

2005-08-23T08:58:00.000+08:00

Last Tuesday I went on a phototaking spree. I simply photographed everything in sight. It was fun while it lasted. So here's a day in the life of me.

BEFORE SCHOOL BEGINS
Ugh. 6.30am. I have to get out of the house, or else I'll be late.
Yes, the lift door closes. I live on the 8th floor.
We are Level One bound. Aren't we excited?
Lift technology is just astounding
OMFG it's so dark in the morning. I am terrified. Well, not really.
The path I take to get to the train station.
2 MINUTES? I DON'T HAVE 2 MINUTES TO SPARE. I NEED THE DAMN TRAIN NOW!
So, the management noticed the tantrum I threw and got the train there, pronto.
Everyone sleeps in the train in the morning. EVERYONE.
The path I take to get to school/Ameteur Voyeurism
I made it! WOO! School starts at 7.30am.
They had an Economics test that day. Olivia is sobbing because of this. Poor creature. FIRST PERIOD: LITERATURE - E8Ms Tan wasn't around. So everyone took advantage of this by studying hard for their Economics test. Anxieties were at an all time high as you can see
Chestine in semi-comatose state.
Amos left home without his eyes.
Everyone is studying. I don't take Economics. So I didn't need to study.
Arina, is so hardworking.
So am I. Not really. Since everyone was studying I decided to do some overdue homework as well.
I hate Application Questions.
My brand new pencil case. Am proud of it. SECOND PERIOD: ECONOMICS TUTORIALEveryone left for the test, so I sneaked into the computer lab. The Tamil students were having some IT lesson with Mdm Ramani.
The computer I used. And my green shoe bag.
Mdm Ramani and her plaided hair. She's like Rapunzel, except that she'd hardly attractive. Like, really. People say she's like a hundred years old. FOURTH PERIOD: PHYS. ED.PE is a waste of time. All of the girls passed their PF test. The guys didn't because our PF test criterias are ridiculous. So all the girls get to play games while the boys do weekly exercises in our pursuit to pass our PF tests.
Jonathan: Adiba, can I rest my tired cheek on your shoulder.Grace: And the number of the day is two!Olivia: *sob*
Sweet. FIFTH PERIOD: RECESSUh, ditto. We eat food and pose for cameras at this time.
Rekha and Arina pretending to be camera shy.
Ivan. Eating. Yeah.
Matthew: Do you have a condom?Krishmen: Wow. Like you're stupid.
Judith: OMG, A CAMERA! *poses*Nali: You camwhore! You disgust me. What am I eating? SIXTH PERIOD: GPI love our GP teacher. She is the most tolerant person I've ever met. We're so adept at misbehaving, especially during her lessons.
Ms Low. The best GP teacher ever.
We were watching Super Size Me
Steph and Adiba, evidently having a ball of a time.
ACS SCHOOLS ARE NOT POOR. Why did the Education & Relief of The Poor Fund donate to them? EIGHTH PERIOD: MATHI only took one pathetic picture at Math. We were doing Maclaurin's. No, not doing Maclaurin's! We were doing the Maclaurin's series tutorial.
I thought this was funny. I tore the packaging through the middle even though the instructions stated otherwise. UGH, GOD KNOWS WHEN THIS WAS TAKEN!My day ended early. So I think I went to the library to memorise my script.
Yes, it is in German. We have to memorise this for the play.
Sophia's pink paraphernalia.
Viknesh, the pervert.
Oh god, what was I thinking.
Ivan needs to come up with a variable expression.
Judith: It was this big!Viknesh: What is?Judith: You damn well know what it is!
Judith: Yours however, leaves much to be desired.Viknesh: Uh, wha?
Ashish and Viknesh attempting to be studious.
Ankita!
Meiyi!
Camwhores!
Yi Jun, pouting. A hedious sight indeed.
Robyn: Oh, what's going on?
Robyn: Oh let me educate you. So you unroll the condom right, and you slip it on like this...
Viknesh: O sweet, Joshua, you are my one and only.Joshua: Alas, I cannot. Tis not meant to be.
Ankita's gold bag.
Magdalene's excited about the pictures. She almost looks crossed eyed.
Darius: I need a shoulder to laugh on.Magdalene: Oh, get away from me please.Shee Yong: Darius has cooties. Hmm...
Viknesh. Amused.
Judith, pretending to be an Ah Lian.
Darius, amused. Or drunk. Same thing.
It's time to go for rehearsals everyone!
Rehearsals end. David ties his shoe. Neat-o!
David and Matthew are keen about their dinner date and want to get to it quickly.
They enjoy some pre-date entertainment.
David: OMG, PAPARAZZI. GET AWAY BITCHES!
Homeward bound for me. I'm here whenever I feel suicidal.
Home.

I am in pain.

2005-08-22T01:05:00.000+08:00

I am having the worst case of rashes ever. I sure hope it's not cancerous or whatever. It's just spreading really, really fast. I've tried 2 types of skin cream already.

Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with my body. It likes doing this sort of thing. It's so hard to concentrate on work now because I'm itching everywhere.

=(

WARNING: SELF-ESTEEM POST.

2005-08-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

Am I not likeable?

I sense a distance between myself and everyone around me. I suppose I don't have anyone else to blame but myself for feeling this way.

I suppose it's time I start clamming up again.

Dear God, please forgive me for having clicked the "Publish Post" button, and making everyone read posts that do nothing to remedy the lack of self confidence.

Maybe, I just want to let everyone know that I am human, and I do have my insecurities. It's a well known fact that the world is a cruel place.

Bangladeshi Wokers + Bicycles = Evil

2005-08-19T10:34:00.000+08:00

I think it might have something to do with them not being able to afford our insane CEO taxes. There should be a law that bans foreign workers from having any form of physical contact with two-wheeled vehicles, because we all know they're rather reckless on those things. In fact, they should not be allowed to even stand within close proximity of the vehicle, so as to prevent them from being charmed by the hypnotic mechanical wiles of a bicycle.

Can you imagine if we'd had laws like that? Then we'd be like some states in America. They have some rather silly laws.

Anyway, this morning I was almost attacked by a Bangladeshi Worker on wheels. He wore this blue long sleeved shirt with an undershirt and a very unfashionable hat probably bought from some cheap bazaar. He was going at like 23856234km/hr, slipping and sliding through all the unwitting pedestrians walking along the pavement. I thought it'd had made more sense if he sounded his bell if he wanted to go at such ridiculous speeds, but I soon realised that he didn't possess one.

I mean, if you can afford such an ugly hat, surely you'd have some left to attach a shiny bell to your run-down bike.

Okay. I am very, very worried about PW. We have not done anything. I am still wondering why we're stalling so much. At least we've delegated some tasks. All we need to do now is to actually, abide by them, and do our part.

I am waiting for the survey to be done so that I can give it to everyone in school. =))

I need to do my AQ now. I hate GP. Acronyms are fun. But not when you don't know what they mean. Obviously.

Tickle.com says I have an IQ of 133.

<3 Copeland.

2005-08-18T14:51:00.000+08:00

I could leave you well enough alone,
Believing you'd be overcome
and gone by grace away
Better off than if I stay

I could leave you walk away
We'll save it for another day
Through all the wars I've come to know
It's punches pulled, not towels thrown in.

Choose The One Who Loves You More - Copeland

LISTS.

2005-08-16T01:08:00.000+08:00

Monday was somewhat bearable. We have 3 Literature lessons on Mondays, but today, all but one Literature teacher was in school. Ms Netty was the only one who didn't go for some Literature course. I think it might have something to do with her already being so skilled at the subject. She said she was the one of the few people who only majored in one subject during her university years. No prizes for guessing what it is.

The Math department decided to torture us a little today. It's like a sneak preview to what our Promotional Exams are going to be like. We were tested on Differentiation and AP/GP/Sigma Notation. It was OMFG hard. Yeah. The differentiation questions looked easy but I think I didn't simplify the equations sufficiently. I must have left it hanging in an incomplete state.

I was wondering why the working was so short for a 4 mark allocated question. Must've done something wrong, somewhere.

Everyone was really demoralised today because of it, to add to natural Monday blues. Lucky for us, the Lit teachers weren't around so we had 2 free periods today. Also, Mr Lynn didn't lose his temper at Geography lecture, and his tutorial lesson was somewhat entertaining and fruitful. I managed to get some shut-eye during one of the free periods to prepare myself for an hour and twenty minutes of Physical Geography.

We have Artshouse rehearsals tomorrow. Here we go again.

I am planning to spend most of my free periods memorising my parts of the script. It's about time I pulled my own weight in this thing. I've got to keep up.

I didn't get any feedback on my performance at the Carnival @ Marina. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. You never really know if you're doing well, but when they do give you feedback it's usually negative. So, I'm going to go about the assumption that I did quite okay.

Fear Factor is silly. My Dad likes to cheer for his favourites even though he knows the contestants won't be able to hear him. It's also rather amusing when you bring up the fact that the episode was probably shot a few weeks back.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day. However, just to be safe, here are some of the things that might ruin the day, tomorrow. I don't want to be caught off-guard, so if either one of these things happen tomorrow, I'd have expected them. The magnitude of each problem however, is something I cannot ascertain.

The worst thing that could happen is if I end up being late for school again. That'd be the fourth detention class for the year.
Our PE teacher mercilessly drills us, so that we'd be able to pass our PF Test. This is physically demanding but not impossible.
Ms Tan turning up for E8 lesson tomorrow. Not that it's a bad thing though. It's not good to feel disappointed when you expect things to go in your favour.
My Economics free periods get rudely interrupted by sleep/overdue GP homework/errand running/severe urge to procrastinate. I want to spend all the free periods I have memorising the script. The impossibility of this is rather inevitable. Pah.
Mdm Ling goes through the solutions for questions tested in the Math test. This will result in extreme cases of demoralisation.
OMG. Tomorrow, my lessons end at 2.30pm and I have 2-3½ hours to spare before Artshouse rehearsals begin. If the Drama teachers know of this, I'd have no excuse to flake during rehearsals. I have a feeling there'd be people who have to attend SSP and rehearsals would begin later.

My left ear is still blocked. I don't know for how long I have to live with this.

Life Lessons.

2005-08-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

I don't expect anything from anyone, anymore. I've learnt that it's just a special form of disappointment that'll hurt you all the same.

The likelihood of expectations not following through far outweighs the ones that do.

So don't expect much from me. I sure as hell don't expect anything from you. Besides, I'd rather have you surprise me, catch me off guard.

As much as I don't want to live my life in absolution, I realise it's the only way to make it better. I guess right now I don't have much of a choice.

I think it all comes down to one thing - checking yourself. If you expect so much from others, have you ever thought about what others expect from you? If you want them to care so much for you, have you actually cared enough for them?

I can only give you the attention you deserve. Because at the end of the day, you'll always walk away.

Sometimes, or most of the time, it'll be me. And when I do, it'll take a while for me to realise how brutally I've abandoned you, and I'll start thinking about all the times you've done the same to me.

And all at once, I'll feel absolved. This way, I can't blame you for anything.

All I can do sometimes is just laugh at myself

2005-08-14T08:33:00.000+08:00

It has come to a point whereby I feel that the only way to cope with things is with a gunshot of hysteria. On top of all the horrible things that happened to me on Friday, I lost my handphone in the process. Most of my classmates and friends agree that I shouldn't have come to school that day, or else all those things wouldn't have happened.

I really appreciate everyone being so concerned for me. I had almost reached my breaking point. It's hard to put up a front and tell everyone you're okay even though you're not.

Sometimes all you can do at the end of the day is laugh at yourself.

Before detention class on Friday, Robyn, Jill and Jill's friend and I talked for a bit. Jill was being oddly covetous of the seed that her classmates gave to her as a present, commemorating god-knows-what. She named it Lala and threw it up in the air several times and catching it. Jill is a 5 year old in disguise. We tease Jill a lot and she doesn't mind it at all. She knows beneath all the jokes we make about her, we love her still.

There's this scary-looking ape-like girl in school. I am terrified of her. She could destroy me with a well aimed bum attack. I'd always imagined her beating her chest and roaring maniacally whenever she gets angry. This is one of the several other reasons why I avoid her like the plague.

Um, yesterday we performed in front of a pathetic crowd at the Carnival @ Marina. There were very few people there. But we performed out hearts out nonetheless. I am so glad it's over. I don't think I can ever perfect any lifts I am taught to do. I simply do not have the physical strength to execute them. I am terribly ashamed of myself. I don't want to do anymore.

After that, I met Nadia and Liyana at City Hall MRT station for the gig at MICA building. We bought some food to eat along the way. Here's the line up.

AND MAKING THEM YOUR REASONS FOR LIVING.
13 August 2005, Saturday. 140 Hill Street. 0107 MICA Building. 3pm onwards. $7 at door, $6 pre-sale.
Bands:
Black Ductape
Muderbyska
Norphrunt
Wishing For Armadale
Bismuth
Shoe Size Nine
I Remember May
Ceramic Circle
Rika
My Squared Circle
Strayvoice
Harakiri
Dear Arson
Some of these bands didn't turn up. Some of the good bands which I remembered were Ceramic Circle, I Remember May, My Squared Circle, Harakiri and Murderbyska. <3 Ceramic Circle for playing Act Appalled. It was an OMFG awesome rendition. There were some good screamo bands as well but it's so hard for me to identify which one is which because most of the time the lead singer's screaming into the microphone. Oh and the moshing and bodysurfing. I thought it was hilarious that they did that in such a small venue. A lot of kids hit hard on the floor when they bodysurfed.

It ended at 9-ish. I was really tired because of the performance in the afternoon. Once I got home, I slept like a baby, because I was tired as hell.

Today is the mother of all pointless days

2005-08-12T10:39:00.000+08:00

Seriously. I was late for school again today. I always get detention class on days where I have no rehearsals. God wants to keep me in school for longer hours for no apparent reason.

This is why today can be safely deemed as pointless

1st period is Mother Tongue. I dropped that subject a few centuries ago.
2nd period. Recess. Ditto.
Sam Ng wasn't in school today, so we had another period all to ourselves
Economics. I do not take this subject because I couldn't give a flying fuck about the economy. It's probably one of the reasons why our family is poor. I am currently wasting my precious life away sitting in this Computer Lab.
After this we have Project Work. Project Work lessons are practically free periods because all we really do is trap ourselves inside the Computer Lab for an hour and twenty minutes incubation period, by which we would all be so zonked out from the intensity of Yahoo! Pool that we wouldn't be able to concentrate and give our fullest attention for the rest of the lessons for the day.
I get to go off for Lunch and Friday Prayers after this. Which is quite awesome.
Um, I come back to school at 2.30pm. We're supposed to have Ms Netty's lesson. She told us that she would not be in school today, so I actually have another free period.
Basically, school starts at 3.10pm for me today. Which is Math. What a way to start the day! In the middle of the blooming afternoon.
After ONE Math tutorial, we have another free period. Ms Low said that she would not be coming in for GP today.
You might think that I get to be released early from school today, but you are so wrong. Remember what happens when you come late for school? That's right, you have to stay back in school for one and half hours of detention. Fuck.

To sum it all up, I only have one lesson for the day but I have to stay in school for 9 hours and 50 minutes. This is why school is a waste of time. On Fridays that is.

However, I have done a few things to perk myself up. I took a lot of pictures today. Of random friends. I started the day in a rather groggy state, because I was feeling really demoralised from getting detention. Ugh. A fucking prison cell, this school is.

I'm starting to hate the school system a lot. I am not enjoying myself as much as I had expected to whenever we have rehearsals. I actually dread going for them, but I don't have a choice now. I mean, I had appealed through CCA, so I have an obligation to participate in it as well as I can. I am hoping to get a high post in the Arts Council, so that I can at least devote more time to that, but still contribute whenever we have drama productions, ie ticketing.

The dance performance is on tomorrow. I am so glad that it's going to be over quickly. We have to perform the same dance about 5 or 6 times, but not consecutively of course. SAJC dance is going to fill in our spaces as we rest. They say SAJC dance troupe's really good though. It's highly probable that they'll outshine us because this dance groups is mostly made up of people from drama, NOT dance.

Simin! Arina! We have to think of a survey soon. Yeah, we're kind of behind. So, we need to do something about this, pronto.

Tomorrow we're going to East Coast Park to take pictures of Coastal Landforms. How, exciting. Mr Lynn said that in exchange for not having to write essays for our Continual Assessment, we have to do some silly Geography project. We have to take pictures of physical landforms and caption them and do a presentation in front of all the Geography students.

Nick's playing some pretty cool songs from these awesome Christian Bands. This makes me happy.

This computer possesses an obscene amount of lag

2005-08-11T12:23:00.000+08:00

Everyone at school is rather annoyed by the fact that we have to go back to this wretched place we call school. We had two and a half days to rest and celebrate our Nation's 40th Birthday. I don't think I had spent all that free time I had well though.

Anyway, I am quite pleased with myself today because I didn't doze off during Ms Netty's lesson, even though she was rambling away as usual. It's as though she suffers from this perpetual verbal nausea whenever she teaches. Everything she says comes directly form the notes which she had written in her book.

GP lessons today were rather amusing. We behaved like children from a Science class and didn't respond to anything Ms Low had to say. We did this for one whole period. It wasn't very convincing though. She knew something was up. After the bell sounded, we reverted back to our original maniacal and frenzied state of incoherent babbling and chatter. My classmates become members of the local mental institute during GP periods. That's why I love them so much.

Okay, the bell just sounded. I have to be at Geography Lecture now. Which also means, that there will be another fruitful session of Bingo. =))

EDIT: I just realised that the grammar of this entry is all over the place. Note to self, never attempt to type out an entry in 5 minutes.

Applause

2005-08-11T02:44:00.000+08:00

It is 2.44am. I have completed my E4 Discursive Essay, at long last. It's been overdue for a few thousand years.

I have to find ways to reward myself tomorrow. I shall start with getting some sleep.

UGH THURSDAY. WORST DAY. EVER. There's no point in me skipping Math tomorrow because I have dance rehearsals. But, I can always do my GP Comprehension during that lesson and skip it anyway.

I will stop thinking out loud now.

Learn to update, kids.

2005-08-10T14:48:00.000+08:00

One could go about the safe assumption that people would update their eljays and blogs during their holidays. I guess I don't have friends like these.

I think bloghopping is the only thing that's stopping me from doing work right now. I suppose I should start work then. Or take a bath.

This partial deafness is getting on my damn nerves. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. God is punishing me.

Yesterday, Janice and I attempted to out-bitch each other. The whore.

We concluded the verbal scuffle with Solitaire Showdown and Tic-Tac-Toe. Did I mention how much I love the new MSN Messenger 7.0? It's a godsend.

I enjoy starving myself. There's something about not eating that seems rather appealing to me. I sure hope I don't have a eating disorder.

Okay, I am hungry, I will eat something now.

I need some love. I am in a complete emo state.

It never stops.

2005-08-10T12:15:00.000+08:00

The number of bad things that happen to me within a single week are insurmountable. And I hate those weeks.

Today, one of my ears are blocked, so the sound is somewhat muffled. My right ear is perfectly fine though. I use eardrops to clean out my ears instead of cotton buds because I have a different kind of ear wax. It's quite problematic. Whenever I try to use a cotton bud to get wax out it gets blocked. That's what happened to me today at 5 in the morning. So, I used the eardrops and went back to bed. 7 hours later, I'm still half deaf. I am so looking forward to the rest of the week, and how it's going to be peppered with, "Sorry could you repeat what you just said?" and explaining to each and every person I communicate with about my slight self imposed disability. At the same time, I have to dodge the common judgment that people whose ears are blocked have poor hygiene, which is not true in my case.

I just have a different kind of ear wax. One that is really stubborn and refuses to empty from the small funnel of a passage that collects sound into my ear drums.

I have a lot of work to do today. I am so glad Artshouse rehearsals have been cancelled tomorrow. This gives me one more day to memorise my lines. I totally flaked during Monday's rehearsal and I'm quite ashamed of myself for that. There's this added pressure on me now, to prove myself to the teachers that I can do this. But with me being slightly hearing impaired, I don't know how I am going to detect the cues given from the lead Actors.

I really think God has something against me. Like on Monday morning for example. After National Day celebrations, some of us decided to go to Holland Village for breakfast. They wanted to go to Breko's and the food were not halal-certified, but I didn't need them to compromise just because of ONE ethnic minority. Once we got there, we placed our bags at the table. Matthew decided to accompany me to Delifrance to get my food. It started pouring. Heavily.

We thought it would be feasable to hop from shelter to shelter, but we soon came to a point where there was none to lead us to the block where Delifrance was. So we went back to Breko's to grab Matthew's umbrella by which, it had stopped raining. Can you believe the kind of luck I have? Ugh, so we just walked to Delifrance under a slight drizzle.

Life sucks right now. I'm hoping for this spate of bad luck to cease soon.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE.

2005-08-09T22:51:00.000+08:00

CRITICAL DEPRECIATION STRUNG BY HAIKUS.

there's really nothing
artistic about our school,
it's not that pretty

in fact, i think it's
quite ugly and graceless like
that house in that book

what's it called again?
oh yeah that's right, it's Warings.
it's quite unsightly

it's nauseating
it's not that I don't have pride
in my school, it's just

that, to be honest,
I think we shouldn't credit
its architecture

because it's painful
to look at much less study
in it for two years

we should totally
use the money we spend on
Founder's Day and such

to renovate the
building to improve it from
it's sordid state, it's

unacceptable
i tell you. it kind of makes
me want to spill my

fucking guts out. it's
that bad. i feel like running
down the corridors

and smashing all the
windows and make a big mess
of things by flinging

chairs about the place
and doodling on the walls with
permanent markers

i bet that would get
their attention. students are
quite rebellious

that way. can't you see
all that teenage angst bursting
at the seams? are you

intimidated?
well you should be. Make our school
pretty or else we'll

throw another fit.
start a new revolution
take control today!

Art.Or Something Like It.

2005-08-07T16:46:00.000+08:00

Prinsep Street.
At a Plenary.
Fetching Vince.
Matthew's Mess
ACS(I)'s SAC
Firehouse
Caught Red Handed
Bowl of Fishes
ACS Forever.
A Vacant Seat.

The week is over. I am so glad.

2005-08-07T11:40:00.000+08:00

Friday.

I didn't manage to complete my E8 essay on time. Ms Tan is going to slaughter me. It was Shu's birthday today. We got her a nice chocolate cake with M&Ms on it. After the short celebration and gift-giving, we changed into our blacks and got ready for another 3 hours of dance rehearsals. Raj taught us the rest of the steps for the remaining parts of the song. I had nearly spontaneously combust when I overheard that there was a possibility of us having to perform another song. I really don't know if they're still going to go on with Raj's suggestion though. The problem is, we're really spent for time. The performance is like next week, so I don't think we'll be able to master two dances by then. It's simply impractical, but not impossible I guess.

They have to keep reminding themselves that we're only teenagers, not robots. I can't keep going on like clockwork. I need rest.

Saturday.

I overslept. I kind of forgot there was a Geography lecture in the morning. It was pretty embarassing, walking into the lecture theatre late, and scrambling for a seat. But the lecture was, as usual, quite informative. After that, we had Artshouse rehearsals. Yeah, I am really that busy with CCA. We finished blocking the remaining parts of the play. All there's left for us to do is to get the costumes and also, to start memorising chunks of the script. After rehearsals, we went to Holland Village for lunch, and then took a bus to Plaza Singapura to look for long sleeved shirts and jeans. We couldn't find anything that was affordable. They rest of the group decided to head for Serangoon while Yi Jun and I went with Krishmen to his place to kill time. The gang was going for a play later in the evening. We played some games, Viknesh came, then we all left.

I am so glad the week is over. I cannot wait for that National Day public holiday. I have yet to complete my E4 essay. No, wait, I have yet to read the two books to complete my E4 essay. OMG, this is impossible. =((

Bad, bad week.

2005-08-04T14:57:00.000+08:00

That's all I can say really.

Today might possibly be the worst day of the year. You might say that it seems rather hasty of me to deem it as such since there's still about 2 months before the school term ends. But honestly speaking, I am both physically and mentally exhausted from everything that has been going on in school.

On Monday, I skipped school, because, the whole family kind of, overslept. It was almost 7, so I told my Mom that it'd be better off if I went back to bed, because if I do go to school, I'd have to waste more hours at school for detention class. Besides, it's really expensive to take a cab to school considering how far it is from home. She said, "Ok," and we all went back to sleep. I woke up at about 1pm, where I wasted the whole day louging around, not doing anything but procrastinate.

On Tuesday, the school week began. It was an easy day to live through since I had a lot of free periods. I had dedicated the whole day to completing my GP essay. After school we had Artshouse rehearsals. We were more productive this time, and progressed further in the script than we usually do.

Wednesday, was simply unbearable. I was late for school. It's retribution for skipping Monday, I just know it. Detention classes only take place in the library on weekdays except Wednesday, so my detention class was pushed to the next day.

After school we had to sit through a completely uninteresting talk about building a portfolio for university entry. I know it's supposed to be important, and people always tell you to be forward-looking and stuff. I'm telling you, I wasn't the only one who thought the talk was a complete waste of time. Besides, it was an early day and everyone was too eager to go home to rest/complete their 2389562346 Literature essays. Rekha, Ankita and I managed to persuade Ms Netty to extend the deadline for our War Lit Essay for the simple reason that we have very little time at home to do it because of CCA. Our E8 essay however, is still due this Friday. I haven't even started working on that one.

We had 3 hours of dance. Raj taught us the new dance for Carnival @ Marina where we will be performing to the general public in cowboy hats, and jeans. It's a really fast-paced dance and it's my first time ever, performing a lift. It was extremely exhausting and the steps are rather complicated. After dance rehearsals, we went straight into Artshouse rehearsals. We didn't do much this time because some of the people who are involved in the Carnival @ Marina are also involved in Artshouse. We just blocked a few sections and went home.

I am so glad there's no rehearsal today. Or else I would have just died from complete and fatal lethargy. Thursday's always a bad day. We have an obscene number of double periods, it's quite nauseating. Ms Leow issued the Fun-O-Rama tickets for us to sell. She did this during our Body Combat PE period, which was kind of awesome. And then we had GP, which we spent in the computer lab preparing our presentation on the topic of Torture. The computers in the lab were OMFG slow. Yeah, but we managed.

I don't know why, but I always manage to nod off during Ms Netty's lessons. It's not that they're not interesting or anything. I think it's just that there's a lack of discussions. She usually just regurgitates whatever she has in her book and we'd be busy noting everything she says. There's only the occasional, "Um, Madam, which page are we at?", but other than that we're unusually quiet during her lessons. We only come alive during our GP lessons.

We spend Human Geography lectures playing Bingo. It's hilarious. I think Ms Leow knows we do this though, but she hasn't said anything yet. It's imperative that we listen to Mr Lynn's lectures intently, because after all, he is a discipline teacher. Anyway, I was thinking of skipping Math class later in the day, but I realised I had detention class, so I didn't see the point in doing so. But Math Class was quite relaxed, as always. We share the class with 1AA4 and we're all quite rowdy, and fun. We hardly do our Tutorials at home except for a select few. They're the hardworking bunch responsible for pulling up our class's Mean Subject Grade.

Detention class was HORRIBLE. I attempted to do my E8 essay but dozed off during the final half hour. The discipline teacher was slacking off as well, but I thought that it had been a rather kind gesture considering I was fast asleep in the study cubicle. I only managed to annotate a few things.

I hope next week will turn out for the better. There's a public holiday coming, which is always a good thing.

The Flea Market.

2005-07-31T01:44:00.000+08:00

Iz, Matt, Kass, Vince, Janice and I went to Theatreworks' flea market at the Fort Canning Park today. All the items which were on sale were used for their productions, and since they have no use for them, they've decided to sell them at low prices. All prices are negotiable, and we all managed to get some pretty good bargains.

There were so many odd looking items for sale. There were toilet seats, plastic swords, a rolled-up poster of the human anatomy, cheongsams, overalls, wigs, mannequins, etc. Among the six of us, Matthew probably spent the most. He bought a trench coat, and some oriental robe, and even some black boots. I wonder if he really needed these things. Kass got herself a pretty army haversack. All the girls got themselves a large red paper fan each. Vincent bought himself a red overall, and decided to wear it in public. Janice and Iz bought themselves these blue metal trunks. Iz needed one to store all her artwork. God knows what Janice is going to do with hers.

I got myself a nice green jacket. It has ugly buttons, so I'm getting my Mom to remove them and sew on some new ones to prevent myself from being a fashion victim. I can't wait to wear it to school. Oh, I'm planning to sew on some nice patches. I'm sure they have some at Far East Plaza.

Anyway, after the whole excursion, we left for Plaza Singapura's Starbucks to do what we all do best - talk. Kass left to meet her friend. Then Janice left to accompany her brother to watch the NDP Parade. The seasonal Strawberry and Cream Frappucino is love. It's quite brilliant. It's also highly overpriced. I think I spent too much money on food today. I was actually planning on spending the money I had on things I needed. I have a lot of things at home which are running out and need to be replaced.

My pimple cream and face wash have both run out. My pen leaked onto my home-made pencil case and so I require a new one. As a result of that leakage, the inner part of my bag is full of black blotches. And due to this, I would also require a new bag. I hope it pays off to be thrifty. I've never put serious thought to being frugal. I should start soon. I was hoping I might find these things at the flea market, but alas, it was not meant to be.

Seoul Garden has been postponed to tomorrow. I have been waiting for this day to come my whole life and it's finally here. =)

BAD HAIRCUT [partthree]

2005-07-29T22:13:00.000+08:00

I have no fringe to speak of. The barber went on a snipping frenzy and butchered away without any consideration for aesthetic value. As a result, the hair on the left side of my head is longer than the hair on my right. It's not that obvious, but still, a bad haircut will always be a bad haircut. My forehead is an acre-long semi-arid terrain. An extensive pediplain with occasional granitic landforms that protrude from the ground, aptly called acne. It wouldn't have been as obvious if I had a fringe. I shall not do any camwhoring in the meantime.

Someone get me an extreme makeover.

It has been a rather busy and eventful week. I got through the dance auditions for the year-end production, A Christmas Carol. Artshouse rehearsals are progressing very slowly. We haven't even delegated all the lines to individual people in the chorus yet. We reconfigured the set the other day, so that it'll have an enhanced feeling of entrapment, and closure. It looks great, and it's somehow easier to manouevre through it.

Today was wholly dedicated to completing my Othello essay, and it looked as if I wasn't the only one. Everywhere I went, all the Literature students were struggling to complete it. I must admit that it wasn't as torturous as people made it out to be. It was actually quite insightful. It actually helps you to further your understanding of the play as a whole. Shakespeare's language is flawless. You can learn lots from it. I really enjoy reading his works, that is, where the footnotes are available. Sometimes, it's hard to grasp its true meaning by relying on your own interpretations of the text. In fact, if there's one thing I've learnt about myself throughout the past few weeks, it's that I have this fantastic affinity for misintepretation. It almost seems as though deriving the wrong meanings of certain phrases in the passage is more inviting.

It's really hard to notice patterns in Othello. But when you do discover them, it feels very accomplishing. During the E1 tutorial today, we were going through Act 3 Scene 4, and there were so many instances whereby Desdemona unintentionally echoes certain phrases mentioned by Othello earlier in the play. We are supposed to take note of these things, because apparently, they bear great significance in character development. This means that I have to read the damn play more, critically. I have to read that damn book all over again. Ugh, this is frustrating.

I simply do not have the patience for such things.

I have not read Journey's End either. I am nowhere near finishing The Red Badge of Courage and I refuse to cause my own slow painful death by reading it. Others find it absolutely excruciating to complete. They say it's quite dull and bland, somewhat like, stew that's been left on the stove for a few days.

Tomorrow, my life will be complete. We're going for an all-you-can eat lunch buffet at Seoul Garden. I simply cannoy miss this opportunity, to be such a pig without anyone giving me odd stares.

Because I'm such a camwhore.

2005-07-23T22:51:00.000+08:00

I've had these for a while now, but never got the chance to post them.
Happy?
Happier.
Happiest.
If only I could replicate these for school every morning. I have to wake up earlier if I want to and there's no guarantee it'll work.

I hate bad hair. I think it's unacceptable. I am so vain, I should get arrested for public narcissism.

Ugh, I have yellow eyes. I look so sickly all the time. And I have so many pimples, they're like hot spot volcanoes. I have one above my lip it's as big as Croatia I swear.

Okay, I shall stop self-scrutinising now.

Ta-dum! Second post of the day!

2005-07-15T15:41:00.000+08:00

Can't believe your eyes? Yes, it's true. This is Hazri's second post for the day!

How is this possible, you ask? Well, anything's possible my friend. Especially when you've got no mood for Math so late in the day and feel like skiving so badly. That's how two entries happen in one day.

Single PE periods are painful. We have to do 3 sets of 50 on the pull chords, run two rounds and then do 10 sets of hanging on the pull-up bar for 5 seconds. It's painful. My body has been aching since Tuesday. Double PE periods are stupid. Body Combat was a total joke. I think that's how they're spending our Gym fees - hiring a bunch of fools from some fitness club to teach us Tae-Bo. I'd rather watch grass grow.

I was begrudgingly compliant about it though. I definitely didn't want to get punished for a lack of enthusiasm. I really don't see the point in doing some warped from of aerobics exercise. I'm certain the normal form of aerobics exercise is far more effective than this bullcrap.

I have been updating a lot these days. Other people should too. I'm running out of things to talk about.

The bell sounded. I have GP. The last period of the day! GO ME!

We have a Geography Mock term exam next week which I cannot afford to fail. I need to start studying soon. I hate studying. I always manage to do badly. I have a great affinity for failure. It lingers in my subconsciousness.

Procrastinating again. So what's new, eh?

2005-07-15T10:07:00.000+08:00

You know what's stupid? Having to cut out 24 assorted articles for a GP student resource file which you know for sure isn't going to be thoroughly checked. David told me yesterday that some classes have fewer or more articles to cut out from newspapers and magazines alike. This inconsistency is a clear implication of the GP department's lack of management. I'm sure the head of department simply sent out memos to inform teachers to collect the GP files from their students, without specifying the number of articles each file should have.

I feel so used now. I really don't see how cutting out these articles would benefit me. But then again, I really shouldn't disregard my earlier resolution to read more either. I'd settle for nothing less than fiction. Anything that doesn't go into that category would not be pleasing for me then.

I'm going to post more pictures soon. I've decided to transfer the ones I'm going to post into a diskette and then use the computers in school to upload them. It's way faster that way. I think I'm going to post them 10 at a time.

School activities have returned to keep my life busy and hectic once again. As a minority, I feel obliged to participate in the Racial Harmony Day Concert. We're putting up another Dikir Barat performance. Seems it's the only thing the AC Perbayu's good at.

We've done two readings so far, for the Artshouse Theatre of Conscience performance. The set's very big and the members of the chorus gets to climb in it. It's really just a cage-like metallic skeletal structure. We have an AGM Meeting today where next year's Committee will be announced. We already know who the president is. After rehearsal yesterday, the teachers called in Suraj to speak with him. It was probably meant to prep him up for the announcement tomorrow. It'd be really funny if he pretended to be all surprised. Or not.

I hate, hate, hate, stomach aches in the morning. Especially when you get them while walking to school. It takes about 5-10 minutes to walk to school from the MRT station and you don't really want to walk back to the toilets at the MRT station with the risk of embarassing yourself in front of other students walking to school. It's even worse when you're running late. Once you arrive at school right before the bell sounds, you have to stand at attention for the National anthem and the pledge. So you have to wait a little while longer.

It's even more annoying when the pain disappears and you realise you don't need the loo anymore right after they tell you, 'please be seated', because you know for a fact that the pain's going to return sometime during school when you least expect it.

Bottomline is, stomach aches suck. And one more thing.

DEATH to the OC. It is the evil source of commercialisation of good music. Most people only watch it because it's 'cool' anyway without caring if the storyline's really that good or not.

The OC. One Tree Hill. They're all the same. Let's just stick to genuinely good shows like, Lost, CSI and Desperate Housewives. And daytime comedy. Shit, like JOEY, are just oh-so-fucking over-rated.

Baybeats today. We're only going on Sunday. I might drop by tomorrow, if I have the time. You're all welcomed to join me.

HOT GOSSIP

2005-07-14T12:25:00.000+08:00

Two words: Sam Ng
Another Word. Friendster.

Go figure.
Scandalous pictures can be found on the desktops of computers in the library.
Good for blackmail.

These are a few of my favourite things.

2005-07-14T12:05:00.000+08:00

FEAR ME, FOR I SHALL POST THESE. Michelle, Ethel, Darius and Nali.
Nat and Sam.
Krishmen, Nada and Natalie.
Ankita and Mel.
Amy, Nicolas and Clement.
Sherlyn and Me.
Kevin and Abel.
JT, Arina, Rekha and Me.
Ethel and Thia
Iz, Me, and Janice.

Happy, happy people.

Things don't just happen.

2005-07-13T09:20:00.000+08:00

It's funny how problems somehow find their own solutions.

I was supposed to have detention class from 4.30-6.00pm yesterday. School ended early for me because I don't take Economics and Mother Tongue, but I since I had detention I would have had to wait a full 2hrs before the session began, that is, if not for Pamy's phonecall.

Apparently, they managed to get all of us, Angela, Gloria, Pamy and myself, out of detention with some excuse that it was raining in the morning, so we were all somehow, explicably stalled and impeded by it. It's rather humourous. I don't think it's a good excuse at all, but it's better not to ask questions since the DM believed it. So I only waited for 40mins before Pamy called to say that detention class was cancelled for us, so I was free to go. =)

That was an awesome day. There's definitely some sort of divine intervention involved. If not I'd be due for my second detention class for the year, and another step closer to a demerit point for continued lateness.

Another spectacular thing that happened to me yesterday, was when I discovered that I could use the internet. My dad brought home a diskette with the Singtel dial-up installer, but when he tried dialling using our home phone account, it wouldn't work.

We have two phone lines. The other one belonged to my grandmother. So I figured, why not try my grandmother's phone account instead?

And so I did. And it worked. It was brilliant. I had a lot of fun using the internet for a few hours as my dad was snoring away outside in the hall. Little did he know I had found a way to connect the internet. And who says I'm going to tell him about it?

Ah, he'll find out sooner or later anyway. And when he does I'll be armed with a legitimate excuse, so I won't get into trouble.

Man, I have to remind myself to blog every Wednesday on the third period. The computer lab is almost empty.

Cheers all.

WOE!!!

2005-07-12T08:50:00.000+08:00

My father is severely disrupting my social development. We seriously need internet at home. I'm sick of him making empty promises. Everyone in school is talking about shit found on the internet, and like, I can't even have access to these things. There's finally a real, plausible reason to why I feel so left out sometimes.

I think our family's in trouble. It looks as though the financial situation is here to stay for at least a few more months. I do understand that my father doesn't only have his own family to support because my grandparents live with us.

I used to think we were successful. Back then I was living at Marsiling Rise, in an awesome Jumbo flat, which was practically two 2-room flats merged into one. That means, we had two halls, and a dining area. Not only did our grandparents live with us, our aunt and her kid stayed over too when she was renting out her flat.

We had to move to a new flat due to financial problems. I was willing to make do with it, I mean, it's not like I had a choice. But these problems seem too incessant, and it's tough to deal with them every single day. You have to watch how you spend, learn not to overindulge, but still not deprive yourself of little rewards that help you get through.

You have to believe them when they say that when you start to lie, you have to keep on lying to get yourself out of it, and in the process you're digging a deeper hole for yourself. On Saturday I had an important Geography lecture to attend, but I missed it because I had overslept. I got a good scolding by Mr Lynn for that. I tried to lie myself out of it, but I felt it was unwise. I just decided to face the music, to take in whatever it was that he had to say, but never coming clean in the end. Sometimes, you have to be smart about these things and know that there's always a limit to lying. There's that point where it won't be effective anymore, people will manage to see through you.

Jill was genuinely surprised when we publicly embarassed her at Swensen's last Friday by singing the birthday song for her. Her birthday didn't really fall on that day, in fact, it was actually quite a few days back, but Dinesh thought it'd still be sweet if we had celebrated it. Jill's quite popular among the gang, in an unintentional way. We had dinner together, and an awesome Cookies & Cream Ice Cream cake. It was kind of embarassing when it came to paying for the bill whenw e found out that we were about $30 short. Jill ended up paying the rest, but Dinesh had promised to pay her back.

Can you imagine paying for your own dinner on your birthday? Wait, I can actually. I don't mind it at all. But it's pretty embarassing for those throwing the party for you. The birthday surprise has then somehow lost it's effect.

WOE! WOE! I have detention class today. Pamy, Gloria, Angela and I were almost late for school and we had decided to take a taxi in an attempt to save our skins. But it was all not meant to be. We were booked by the teacher anyway. It was quite amusing actually. Blah, at least I have friends to accompany me during detention class. I decided to use all my free periods not doing homework, but save them for later. It's really annoying not having any work to do during one and a half hours of detention.

I hope it's not too cold in the library.

OMG. Speaking of birthdays, we celebrated Shariena's birthday on Saturday! Yeah, her birthday was also a few days back. We have to stop these belated birthday celebrations, it's really rather annoying. Anyway, after doing up the notice board for Malay Week, we went to Banquet at Bugis for Lunch, after which, we took a train down to City Hall. Arina decided to distract Shariena by pulling her away to Mango, while Faizul and I help Khairul pick out a gift from the jewelry shop. Shariena ended up buying something for herself at Mango in the process.

After buying her gift, we walked to Esplanade, where Amalina and Hassa were waiting with a beautifully decorated cake. It was a cake covered with chocolate rice and with an added touch of dark chocolate M&Ms. Anyway, it was only Faizul and Hassa went to 7-Eleven to get napkins, that Shariena and Arina arrived at the venue. The rest of us were caught off guard, so the surprise wasn't what I'd call, spectacular.

But it was a surprise nonetheless!

Hey, we tried okay. Well, we sang the birthday song, had some cake, had a long joke sharing session and spent most of the time stoning. Then came the picture taking, before we went our separate ways. Then after, I met Kevin at Lido to watch Fantastic Four, which was such an awesome movie. I truly enjoyed it. Jessica Alba as a blonde is so wrong. Lots of character development, brilliant special effects. Loved it.

This has been fun. Unfortunately I've run out of things to talk about. Or maybe I'm just saving that for later. I actually have a lot of free periods today, and I can actually leave school earlier, but because of detention class, I have to stay back until 6.

WOE is me.

I thought this was funny.

2005-07-08T10:14:00.000+08:00

"...not clicking this banner would end any chance you ever had of procreating."

Today is the best day ever. I don't take AO Malay, so I had the first period off. After that we had photo-taking, which was supposed to be our recess period. Because of the photo-taking session which lasted a whole period, our recess was put forward to the next period, which was E1. After that, we have Economics lecture, which is another subject I don't take.

So basically, I have not attended any lessons so far. The next lesson is Project Work, after which I am allowed to leave school to go for Friday prayers. Life is good. But as you know, all good things, like sex, must come to an end. After prayers I have to come back to school for E4, Maths and GP.

Photo-taking was really fun. The formal shots were, well, formal. The informal shots were all very creative indeed. We had one where we laid on the track in a circle, with our form teacher Ms Leow, seated in the middle. We had another one where we stood in a shallow semi-circle and jumped in the air. Then we had two emo shots. One at the bleaches looking very aloof and standoffish, and another one looking very sad and dejected at the tennis courts. I hope they pick the better ones. Apparently these shots are not going to go into the school magazine but they're meant for us to buy as a keepsake of our JC1 year.

We've got a surprise party planned for Jill this evening. I hope she likes it. Ugh, I didn't get her a present. I am such a bad friend.

I have so many things to do today actually. It's just that everything's being packed up to the end of the day. I have a Racial Harmony Day full dress rehearsal, and Arts Games to attend/participate in. Only after I've completed these tasks that I am free to go for the dinner party.

I made it through the auditions for the Arts House: Theatre of Conscience play. Apparently the second Night of Laughter of the year has been cancelled. It does make sense after all. The year's coming to an end and people are busy studying, and getting ready for Prelims and Promos and the A Levels and such.

I need a haircut. I am terrified of haircuts. Today the discipline teachers were patrolling the school, looking for students with unsuitable hair length and improper and sloppy attires. It was really quite scary. Everyone tried to keep at least a 2 metre radius away from these teachers, but you can't really avoid them in the end. They'll always get you. I think all you really need is a pleasant and innocent appearance. You mustn't look like some sort of a criminal.

Anyway, I should get a haircut soon.

There are so many IE shortcut icons on the library computers it's almost ironic.

I want to post pictures! I have tons of them. Too bad I don't have internet at home. And I don't think it's safe to upload anything onto the school computers. It's really embarassing if people stumble upon these things.

I bought two CDs recently. A cheap $8.90 compilation CD by The Militia Group and the new one by Funeral For a Friend. They're both really good. FFAF get's boring after a while, but it's all good. They have a very good opening track, it's a must listen. If I had the mp3 right now I'd upload it to YouSendIt for you kids.

This has turned out to be a somewhat pointless entry. Life has lost its meaning now that I have no more overdue homework to catch up to. All I have a Maths tutorials. These aren't going to be checked at all. It's better that I do them on the spot during lessons, so if I get stuck on a question I'd have instant assistance. Which is neat-o!

I have written two essays over the course of three days. This is a great accomplishment. You have to applaud now.

Forgive me...

2005-07-07T14:52:00.001+08:00

... for this entry's complete lack of focus.

You can expect something like this when you haven't come online for a few weeks simply because there is so much ground to cover.

I am just going to start with whatever pops into my mind because, as I am typing this entry, I am also sifting through 103 new email messages. At this juncture, I would like to express how irked I am about everyone inviting me to join ZEBO, whatever the fuck that is. It is really annoying. I've also learnt today that you should never subscribe for dictionary sites to send you 'word-of-the-day' emails, because they're the main reason why your inbox is so flooded.

Oh, look at this 135 unread email messages on my Yahoo! account. This is a fantastic/expected revelation. Lucky for me, they're only full of messages sent from the CAP message boards. There are many of these things actually, and that might seem annoying at first, but I've recently learnt to take everything with a pinch of salt/apathy.

I've been eating a lot lately. I've also been consuming lots of milk for some strange inexplicable reason. I had this insane urge to purchase lots of milk yesterday and after sampling the milk I bought, I regretted ever buying that brand. Kids, never buy Fresh Milk. The one with the bright yellow packaging. It's rather sour. You should always trust good old HL Milk, it's the best one.

Fuck, I have 5 minutes, and we have a double period math tutorial after this. God hates me.

There's this thing about the computers in school that incurs a lot of violence in everyone. First of all, we no longer have a generic log-in password. Everyone has their own unique password which is made up of weird numbers and letters. Some of us who didn't receive the MOE slip do not possess such a password, ie myself. Daphne was kind enough to lend me hers, since she rarely uses the computers in school anyway, so at the end of the day I am a happy camper. I think sharing passwords is okay as long as the authorities don't know anything about it.

Another thing that is annoying about the computers in school, specifically, the ones in the computer lab, is that they all don't have a short cut on the desktop to use Internet Explorer. It's like they don't want us to use the internet at all! This is completely ridiculous. I finally figured out a way behind this problem though. You can go to the help topics and search for explorer, then click on Using Internet Explorer and there'll be a shortcut/hyperlink that opens up IE. Which is neat-o!

Fuck, the bell just sounded. I don't care, 5 more minutes.

So anyway, I failed 3 out of the 4 subjects that I take for terms, thus far. I failed GP by three marks, Geography by one mark and Maths my six marks. I wish my luck had been better then I would've at least scraped through. I was so depressed when we got back our Geography marks. People keep telling me that it's okay because I had Camelot before the holidays began but the problem is, I had all the time during the holidays to do my revision.

Therefore I don't really have a valid excuse.

Okay, I really have to go. A lot of people are streaming into the computer lab.

This time is spent without remorse.

2005-06-30T18:07:00.000+08:00

I currently at Matthew's extremely cluttered home. It looks as though the family had only recently moved into the place. There are boxes laden with an assortment of random items. The only things that have been evidently unpacked from their boxes are the books which are ~~neatly~~ stacked upon the shelves. There is an insane number of books in the house itself, and there's at least bookshelf placed in every corner of the house. This is quite alarming considering the amount of reading I do in a single year, or the lack thereof, these books could last me an entire lifetime.

Izyanti's here as well. She's shaping up her CAP portfolio, and it looks awesome I tell you. There are beautiful indie-like illustrations and most of her poems are artistically written, and there's just enough aesthetic touch to it to make it worth publishing. We're not kidding when we say that we're immersing ourselves in the arts, she's got two whole mediums in her portfolio.

Talented girl.

Matthew's been kind enough to allow me to use his parents' laptop to do a few things. I've been really bored at home without internet, and without internet, I've been deemed unable to learn any new songs on the guitar. I don't have Cable Television either and TV and radio are the only two forms of entertainment I have. So far, I've copied some tabs into a word document and saved it into a disc. The good news is though, my Dad's been working and we have some cash to carry us through a little farther and we might actually have enough to afford this coming month's internet bill. This is fantastic news. You're entitled to cheer and are obliged to feel happy for me.

Our terms just ended. It was horrible. It concluded with a very depressing note. They really bullied us this time for Math. Geography would have been beareable if I had studied harder, especially that bloody Karst Landform topic. GP and Literature are both highly subjective and it's really scary when we discussed the poem we analysed after the paper because we came up with extremely varying analyses. This was quite worrying for all of us.

I'm just so glad it's over.

Well, it's not really over for me actually. I have a lot of tutorials and overdue assignments to catch up on. Ms Low has been messaging me during the holidays repeatedly requesting that I put my completed comprehension assignment into her pigeon hole. Ms Netty's very lenient, I'm sure she'll mark my assignment no matter how late it is (I hope). Mr Sam Ng however is not an easy person to please. He'll probably take a look at it, put a big giant L for Late across the first page and return it to me.

I have to go now, because it's late. And we're overstayed our welcome. Kudos to Matthew for letting me use the internet.

Until later.

At this party, the booze is FOC.

2005-06-18T00:47:00.000+08:00

Ok. The whole club went to watch the ACJC Dance production, Restless 2: I Hope You Dance, and decided to go hang at Suraj's place. In the end all the girls bailed out on us and due to the gender disparity, we had decided to indulge ourselves in hard liquor. I might possibly be the only sober one at the end of the day. Isn't that great?

Such is life.

I really don't think that there's a possibility of me even remotely coming close to some sort of a substantial entry. So you guys are just going to have to take all this rubbish in the meantime. I apologise.

Always,
Hazri.

The Morning After.

2005-06-15T10:58:00.000+08:00

I'm at Janice's. With Izyanti, Vince and Matt. The four of them are curled up in Janice's room where there's evidently insufficient space for 5 people to sleep in. Teenagers are usually defiant that way, even though there's no advantageous reason behind it. We all passed out after ~~a long wild night of hot orgy sex~~ spending an inane amount of time sitting around scented candles and divulging a few secrets about each other in an unspoken attempt to strengthen our bonds as friends.

~~Other than the casual moaning and vigorous humping that would almost make the ceiling of lower floors collapse~~, there were also agonising rants by Matthew which never seemed to end, tame attempts at fulfilling Janice's sexual fantasies, and taking turns to express what candle virgins the rest of us were by spilling wax everywhere.

Sleepovers are <3. I have to stop being so caught up in the now. A more substantial update later.

Titles suck

2005-05-17T08:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a bad start for the week. I think the Literature assignment did me in. I got a C for it. 62/100. I really wanted to prove myself that I could juggle CCA and term assignments effectively. Now, I'd absolutely have to work hard for that E1 Othello essay, and I only have a day to do it. And Sam Ng is not an easy person to impress.

I don't think my Mom likes me anymore. I try my best to be calm and compliant despite her being so unreasonable all the time. I hate being blamed for her mistakes. I wish she could be a bit more understanding. Every weekday, I'd come home from school at 11 or so, and I'd be just too tired to do anything, so I'd just dump myself on the bed and fall asleep. One would expect a mother to be kind enough to at least wake you up early in the morning for school so that you wouldn't be late. My Mom doesn't do that. She wakes me up really late, and always scolds and nags at me for taking my own sweet time to get ready.

It can't be blamed! I have to pack my bags, fold some clothes to pack in, check the timetable, do my morning prayers, etc. I have lots of things to do in the morning, and I just wished she would just understand that I had a long day the day before and that I was too tired to pick myself up and bring myself to pack my bag before I go to bed.

Clarice and I were so tired after Drama yesterday that we fell asleep during the journey back home in the MRT. We'd usually have inane, worthless conversations but nowadays, we end so late that we hardly have any energy left to talk. Matthew abandoned us and took a ride from Hazel to Bukit Batok. Thou shalt pay for thy sins.

I hate Thursdays. I usually leave school to sell tickets on Thursdays. I signed up with Michelle for ticket duty at any school that they delegate me to. Cedar was a total success. We sold the most tickets there. Alex wants us to sell 3 $100 by today. I don't think I'll succeed. I am suffering from donor fatigue. I am tired of selling tickets even though I know it's necessary. There's always that occasional $30 or $50 that I contribute, but other than that my efforts at ticket-selling have been somewhat meagre.

I am in the library now and I wanted to do my PI. But as you can see, the prospect of blogging was too enticing to dismiss, and so I had succumbed myself to it.

I have not been scouring the internet wastelands for new music of late. I am quite ashamed of myself for that. All I have right now are old CDs. I am also being slowly brainwashed by mainstream music. Somebody save me.

My hairline is receding so fast it's not even funny. I think it's retribution for saying tha Khairul's forehead was like an acre. I sincerely apologise.

I have a GP Environment package test on Friday. I have to pass this one or I might actually die.

Good day all.

Haircuts

2005-05-16T10:10:00.000+08:00

I think I should record down the date of every haircut I have each year. Then I'll be able to know for sure how much I really spend annually on haircuts. I am planning to limit myself to a minimum of 4 - 5 haircuts a year.

This would be the 2nd haircut related entry so far this year. I am looking forward to more of these mundane accounts.

I'm actually terrified of haircuts. I'm always worried that the barber might do something bad to my hair. I always go to the same barber, but the man doesn't understand the fact that I trust him enough not to make a big mess out of it. The last time I went, my fringe was trimmed to bits and the length of hair on my head was so unbalanced. I had longer hair on one side and shorter hair on the other. It was mildly depressing. People laughed at me.

But now, I have this odd looking rooster hair. It's short on the sides and the back and long at the top. It's not so bad I guess.

Anyway, I can't wait for CAP. I auditioned to be an emcee during the seminar and they've given me a chance to emcee at the opening ceremony. I am quite excited about that. I need to borrow a blazer from the council room. I don't think my dress shoes fit me anymore. They should though. I had to wear them for last year's opening ceremony, but I haven't worn them since then.

Arina and I skipped Math lectures. We're such delinquents. We should get arrested for this. Rekha gave us this disapproving look before she went to the lecture theatre.

Oh no, one period gone. I'm supposed to be doing my PI. I have to hand it up by today. I plan to avoid the Project Work teacher today, but Grace will bug me for it because she's a responsible PW rep.

Don't lie to me Nadz. I went to two different HMVs on three occasions before and after you told me they were available, and I couldn't find Juturna. And they're a relatively unknown band so don't tell me people nabbed them already. I wasted another trip to town yesterday looknig for it. I even went to Gramophone even though I knew their selection wasn't as good.

Ok, I better work on my PI.

Project Work is gay.

2005-05-13T11:09:00.000+08:00

I refuse to do my PI and it's only because the teacher shot me down one too many times. Yay, I'm so rebellious.

Coincidentally though, I have my project work lesson now and I intend to turn up late. Once again, I am indeed rebellious.

I passed a Math test which I thought was impossible to do. I also managed to scrape through a shoddy GP comprehension. If I fail my GP essay, which I took 5 days to complete, I will just cry.

Oh, great, we have GP in the computer lab, I don't have to move now. But that also means that I am no longer a rebellious person because I arrived punctually for her lesson.

Can hardly wait.

2005-05-11T09:42:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I can hardly wait for CAP to start.

Stephanie spilt coffee on Adiba's bag today and Rekha was laughing at us. My fingers bear an odd coffee scent/odour/stench. Despite my attempts at washing it off completely, the odour persists.

Arina skipped school again today. I think it's absolutely necessary for her to skip school/get ill at least once a week.

My Project Work teacher has to work on her sincerity. At least effectively pretend to accept my PI idea rather than weakly smiling at it, knowing how bad the idea is. Sometimes, you already know if a person thinks your PI is bad just by looking at their reactions.

I do admit however, that my PI is completely uninteresting. Rekha had to burst my bubble by saying that TKGS already has a system for taking attendance using the EZ-link.

Things are progressing really well with the dance choreography for Lusty Month of May. I can't wait to see the final product. I actually DO something for once.

Do you know, in between periods, the bell that signals the end of the period plays a short snippet of the Canadian national anthem? Yeah, I thought it was quite interesting.

I have Math lecture now. I think blogging during school hours will help me keep my sanity intact.

I hate spam e-mail. They're like flyers.

Ok.

I <3 FREE PERIODS.

2005-05-10T08:55:00.000+08:00

I treat all my precious free periods with tender loving care by spending them, blogging fruitful entries for your viewing pleasure. Free Periods are really hard to come by. Fortunately though, on Tuesdays, I've been rewarded at least 5 free periods for taking three A Level Subjects and getting a B3 for Higher Malay at the Os.

Hard work does pay off.

I've gotten into the mood of writing long essays. They used to tire me out a lot, and I didn't have the stamina to finish 4 pages in one and a half hours. But I've using my GP essays and Lit assignments to practise writing them within the time limit. I really do abhor doing half-baked work. At the end of the day I don't think you'd feel like you've accomplished anything at all.

I hope I get good remarks for my recent Lit and GP essays. I'm quite glad that I haven't failed anything yet. I'm expecting to fail a lot of Math Tests. The lecturer is going on and on at the pace of a bulelt train, I don't think I can quite keep up with whatever it is that she usually attempts to explain with commendable ardour. And when I say ardour, I honestly do mean that she's absolutely passionate about Mathematics.

I want to watch House of Wax on Friday. Any takers? The NY Melayus, give me a buzz sometime, then we can see if we can work something out. I'm thinking Marina GV, or we could go to Yishun 10 and have Sakura for dinner.

I have been blocked into a dance in Camelot! WOO! It's called Lusty Month of May, and currently, at it's beginning foetal stages, I only come into the picture after 2-eighths from stage left and Meghan grabs me so that she can rest on my right thigh. But there's dance again today, so we'll see what happens. I'm quite excited and pumped about pretty much everything. It also helps that I don't have any due homework today, so the pace is really relaxed and I am not the least bit stressed out about how close it is to showtime.

Thursday and Friday $50 tickets are all sold out. I was kind of surprised when they announced that. Ironically, the cheaper tickets for Wednesday night and Saturday Matinee are still on sale. Thursday $100 tickets aren't moving so we're trying to push for those.

I signed up to join the Arts Council. =). I want to be properly prepped for the interviews. I hope there isn't like, some form of elections or something.

We still don't have internet at home. It doesn't bother me much anymore. I've trying to treasure all the time that I spend at home, because I don't do that a lot. I spend more time at school for CCAs and work than I do study at home. I'm kind of nicer to everybody now. =)

CONGRATULATIONS IZ FOR GETTING INTO CAP!

Other shocking news include Gayle and Vince, not signing up for CAP. I think the pre-university seminar has got something to do with that. I wonder if Andrea applied/qualified.

They don't have Juturna at HMV, unfortunately/fortunately. They do however have cheaply priced Lifehouse CDs, which I so want to buy when I get the money.

Last Saturday we had a little bit of bonding among a few of the Drama people. Darius, Meixi, Thea, Krishmen, Dinesh, Audrey and I went to town after rehearsals to get Mother's Day gifts and have dinner. I had fun and all. I bought my mom a nice yellow photo frame and put it in a box and filled it with paper stars to add a little personal touch to it. She hadn't said a thing about it yet though. I hope she liked it, and still does.

Okay, I think I've written an acceptable non-mundane account and I deserve some playtime now.

Much love.

Bah. Project Work.

2005-05-06T10:48:00.000+08:00

Project Work is going to take up a lot of my time. Viknesh says my PI proposal has already been done before but I'm going to pitch it anyway.

I'm doing New Perspectives because the other one is kind of retarded. I'm just waiting for someone to ask me what my idea is.

The thing is, today, we have to get our draft done by Project Work lesson, but I haven't done it yet because I'm a lazy bum. I have about 15 minutes to do it, but I'm not planning to. I'll just tell her that it's in my head and that my computer at home broken down or something. We totally take advantage of our teacher but she's very calm and tolerant. I really admire her actually for having such mettle.

I got into the Creative Arts Programme this year. I was genuinely shocked when Mrs Creffield announced it at assembly today. I did not expect it at all, considering I did not get the principal's approval but just submitted it anyway. Shawn Tay got in too. And a few other fellow ex-CAPpers, Judith, Matt and Brendan. I feel really bad for Kass though. I wished all of us could get back into CAP this year.

I am really, really lucky. I need to keep reminding myself that I am truly, absolutely fortunate for being given a chance to attend residential CAP.

I am looking forward to it. I've sort of forgotten about Camelot for a while. I really shouldn't do that.

<3.

close-lipped.

2005-05-04T09:39:00.000+08:00

This morning, the most amusing/horrific thing happened. The pimple which has been thriving in my nostril, the cause of an unclear air passage, grew into a micro-ruware and exploded. It was the funniest thing. I've realised today that I shouldn't attempt to stuff pimple cream up my nose so often. It kind of makes me sneeze, and since the windpipe is connected to the gullet, I might've swallowed some cream as well.

Yeah, I just though I might share.

Ow, pain.

2005-05-03T16:14:00.000+08:00

I have a pimple in my nostril. It can't get any worse than that.

We had rehearsals during our Labour Day holiday. I know I'm not supposed to complain, but, heck. I don't care if Michelle Wong finds this. I would think that she has far more better things to do than look for ways to sabotage innocent people like me. And everyone else.

Ok, I have rehearsals in an hour. Hooray!

I know, you're probably trying to perceive the honesty in my exclamation by now. I swear, it was completely bereft of sarcasm. I really do enjoy rehearsals. Especially during the parts when I'm actually needed to do something.

What I don't like about drama is the amount of general sitting around I do during rehearsals. I have lots of energy to contribute.

I am so distracted right now. People are bugging me. And like, they do mean things like google my name on like, what's that now...

Yeah, Google.

Eh, I am quite pissed off about the computer lab being occupied during my free periods. Yeah, that's all I needed to rant about. Everything's relatively dandy.

=)

It's too late...

2005-04-28T15:11:00.000+08:00

"CAN WE LAST THROUGH THE WINTER

the water's starting to freeze

I'll swear to you now, I won't call."

Mean People Should Die.

2005-04-26T14:41:00.000+08:00

Today Krish, Vik performed at the Helikon in front of so many people, for Arts Week.

This might lead you to think that I feel extremely exultant about it, but I'm not. You might expect there'd be at least a small sense of pride left in me. Or that I'd at least feel accomplished.

Someone needs to give me a hug. I cannot bury my emotions any longer.

STRESSED.

2005-04-21T14:42:00.000+08:00

As you would have probably guessed by now by the title that is blaring in your face, I am extremely stressed.

Metaphorically, I feel like a pinball being pushed around in different directions and never really going where I want to. Everything's beyond my control so it seems. I don't like how things are right now.

I was very blessed to have gotten into the cast of Camelot. The auditions were really hard to get through. But now that the difficult part is over, everything just seems so stagnant. During rehearsals, the new people were hardly used until recently. So most of the time, I had spent rehearsal time sitting down in front of the cast while they run through and clean up their dances.

Raja taught us the dance, and we were quite eager to do it, but I suppose it wasn't meant to be. Dinesh and I didn't make it to the first dance, the one and only dance we learnt since being casted.

Right now we're only being used for mass scenes.

Today I transferred classes from 1AA5 to 1AA3. Which is really fucked up. They switched me out because during the time that I leave for Friday Prayers, we have Project Work lessons and I can't afford to miss Project Work because it's going to be graded as an A Level subject. It's quite necessary I guess. A compromise had to be made, but that doesn't make me any less depressed about the whole thing.

I was quite settled in my original class, and I really liked it there. Everyone was really nice. I'm not saying 1AA3 is bad or anything, they're a fun bunch of people in fact.

It's just that, too many things are happening at the same time and I often find myself losing focus. It's hard to keep track of what you're doing because you're constantly being moved around, things that used to affect you in a certain way affect you differently now.

If my whole family we're to die from a mindless massacre, the cause of death would be by financial ineptitude. AC is really killing me when it comes to dealing with money. We have that TIME magazine to subscribe to. The Literature textbooks cost $82. We have to pay to use the Sports Complex which amounts to $40 for four months. We have to buy our own notes and little things like that. This makes me want to cry a lot.

The internet at home got cut off because my Dad didn't pay the bills. So what's new?

Anyway, I hope the rest of you are having a swell time. I sure am not.

ANTHONY GREEN FORGIVE ME.

2005-04-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

I downloaded all the songs from the Juturna album. I promise to buy your CD when they sell it here. Illegal filesharing will cease in this household if and only if Circa Survive comes here to do a show because then my dreams will be fulfilled.

I wish I didn't feel so perpetually sedated. Hold me.

I am an unhappy person

2005-04-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

I am having difficulty expressing myself these days. I apologise if this bores you.

I haven't been myself, of late. I will now proceed to further confuse you by stating a few disjointed facts that a mere reflections of my unimportant thoughts.

[angst]EVERYTHING IS JUST SO WRONG![/angst]

Well, okay, I really shouldn't exaggerate. Everyone at school is very friendly actually. The only thing I have to work on right now is holding my tongue, especially due to the fact that I am a second intake student. There are some things which I need to do in order for me to be accepted into their fold. Whoever they may be.

I can honestly say that I don't bear any impressive qualities. I am pretty much an ordinary person. You may now question the reason behind me having a blog after having verbalised that self-reflective thought. To say it quite plainly, I am a boring person.

You might say otherwise, in some depressing attempt to recover whatever pride I have left in me. I would accept them graciously as some sort or temporal ego boost but it'll never change the fact that there is really nothing interesting about me other than the fact that I have a very red bag and very white sneakers.

All I want right now is to feel that I belong. That I'm part of them. I try very hard. Really I do. Everyday I'd have probably made a new friend or two.

Maybe all I really want is attention.

Patience.

2005-04-10T16:16:00.000+08:00

both we and our words are overproduced
by influence...

to make them drink, tell them that it’s only water
no one leaves ’till we figure this out

I’ve been trading ideas with intriguing men
over and over again
I percieve an honest solution to all your problems

<3 Circa Survive

I should stop wasting time.

2005-04-10T13:22:00.000+08:00

In retrospect, I realise, I shouldn't have devoted the whole of yesterday to writhing around in bed. I actually wanted to reward myself for having a relatively good week at school by simply not doing anything. That was a big mistake.

Now I have one day less to complete my tutorials. I am wise beyond compare.

I also regret eating all those cookies all at once. You can expect to see craters forming on my face on Monday. I really don't know why I keep on doing these things even though I know they're bad for me.

I have a lot of things to do today. It makes me not want to go for religious class tonight. But I have to anyway because I'm forced to by my parents. I have to go and get passport-sized photos for my profile and the class list. And of course the tutorials.

I want to go to Sakura and have myself a nice big bowl of Crispy Egg Noodles. It's calling out to me. I might actually have two in fact. I'm such a pig.

Being in ACJC actually allows you to eat healthy if you make the right choices. They sell everything in the canteen. There's like a stall that food you can find at a bakery, a fruit stall, and many others. I also like the fact that they sell M&Ms and Maltesers.

I'm beginning to think that it's impossible for me to gain weight despite the exorbitant amount of food I consume daily. *sigh*

Time for lunch. This has somewhat been a rather inane post, but it doesn't bother me.

I can't name a penance for abuse

2005-04-09T12:52:00.000+08:00

It's been such a dreary morning. I kind of forgot what the day was, so I missed all the good cartoons on television.

Time to get on with the tutorials I suppose. Being a second intake does suck actually. You're always behind in your work.

I miss everyone at NY. It seems they've all forgotten about me, especially my OGmates. I can't really say I've moved on yet.

Camelot tickets are very costly. The cheapest ones are priced at $30 and the most expensive ones amount up to $200, including text exemption. The procceeds will go to the construction of ACJC's Centre for Performing Arts. Unfortunately, we won't be able to enjoy its facilities because we'd have graduated by then. Blah. We're so unlucky. We will never get the chance to use the facilities at the new ACS(I) IB building either despite our meagre efforts at raising funds last year.

I'm don't expect people I know to come watch Camelot unless they want to, because I understand that it's simply too pricey. I don't think I'd spend so much money on such things. We're having a hard time selling tickets.

I'm actually quite bored now. I'm tired of all the comic sites I've been visiting. I need new material.

Much love all.

I've been secetly falling apart.

2005-04-09T02:49:00.000+08:00

Okay, here's what's been up since the last time I updated.

Being in the Arts Stream, a scenario where girls outnumber the guys numerically would be commonplace. However, that is not the case with 1AA5. This class is basically made up of appeal students with L1R5s which exceed the basic prerequisite. There is a good balance of the sexes which can always be a good thing.

At first I thought, "Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to fit in. It's going to be a class full of half-witted jocks and pointless conversations," but it didn't turn out to be like that at all. The guys are generally okay. We have begun to escape away into the computer lab to play Crimsonland recently. I believe this will bind us all together. Boys and their computer games are always a healthy mix.

There are one or two prissy girls in class. You know, the ones which are like to cool to make eye contact with. But the rest are very kind and outspoken. Especially the ones who came from neighbourhood schools. There're not many of this variety but they sure are swell.

Christine and I share the same birthday. It's hilarious. We also got recently casted into Camelot after a series of grueling dance and drama auditions. You see, the policy with ACSian theatre productions is that, everyone in cast has to dance, so it's a necessary prerequisite. I was pretty bummed out about Kass and Gloria not making the dance auditions. Apparently, the instructor doesn't really look out for your ability to memorise the steps, but how much effort and attitude you put into them.

Dance auditions were pretty embarassing. We had to do some pretty gay moves. And the song that they chose for us was this fast-paced Ricky Martin track, which most of us thought was impossible to dance to due to it's insanely quick tempo. Some of us managed to pull it off, some of us gave up halfway because we couldn't take the pressure. Darling Rekha, it'll be okay, there'll be other opportunities. =)

I've also decided to enrol in AC's MCS since having such a great time during my stint in NY. They're having a second performance of the play, Madama Butterfly, during late April at The Nanyang Institute of Fine Arts. I need to get my hands on a booklet of tickets so that I can help sell them.

My social circle is expanding slowly, but surely. There're those vocal people from Drance, like Deb and Clarisse, and there're those smart people from upper band classes like Lim Hui and Darius to name a few. I enjoy waving and saying "hi" to people whom I know during lunch time, or whenever we have free periods. I used to think that it was tiring and bothersome to be doing so but it turned out to be fun and everyone will acknowledge your amiable nature.

Everyone in AC studies. This bothers me quite a bit. The prospect of falling behind in my schoolwork scares me. It will most likely happen since I'll be busy with CCA and whatnot. We have too many Literature lessons. I dislike reading Othello. The language is simply too dense, it takes forever for me to comprehend every line in a single scene. The main idea of each scene, I've been able to grasp, but not word for word.

We're doing War Lit, which is interesting. King of the Castle has prepped me well enough for another novel based text. We're doing this interesting book called The Red Badge of Courage. The language is immaculate but hardly incomprehensible. It's also pretty easy to analyse unlike Othello, whereby you'd have to get past understanding the meaning or each sentence before you can actually begin to identify the literary techniques used. I suppose I'm not a very good Literature student then. Verse speech bothers me. I get Creffield for the Comment and Appreciation section of the paper which is good. I am still struggling with Poetry analysation but I'll get the hang of it soon. I hope.

Literature textbooks are expensive. I hate the fact that we're using photocopied versions of the texts used during lessons and that we're not allowed to annotate the original versions. You see, we're allowed to bring the text into the exam hall on the condition that there're no annotations or highlighting in them. So basically we pruchase these costly books but we won't be reading them anytime soon because we only use the photocopied versions to study and analyse.

There are so many things to study for Geography. I am beginning to regret taking it as an A Level subject. We have a presentation to prepare for for Human Geography, and a tutorial to complete for Physical Geography. The Geography teachers are relatively kind. Homework is beginning to pile up. It was either Geography or Economics, and I decided to pick the lesser of the two evils. Economics is a chore to do.

They're going through some Math tutorial which I don't really quite understand, yet. But I'll soon come to grasp it's concept. Clement issued the second intake students with the past tutorials. I have 8 tutorials tutorials to complete now, which is quite fucked up and depressing.

PE was not that bad. I think it's because we were fortunate enough to get a kind PE teacher. We played badminton recently. The fitness conditioning part of the whole PE regiment was not as rigorous as I had expected it to be. Or maybe they're just starting out slow.

I had actually considered taking AO Malay. Because if I did, then I'd only require 2 A Level and 2 AO Level passes. But seeing how the Malay teacher was mildly insane, I had decided to drop the subject. I'd doing myself a disservice by simply attending Cikgu Ayob's lessons. The man's a complete nutcase. He never stops talking and nothing that comes out from his mouth makes any sense either. So, now that I've dropped AO Malay, I'd need to pass all the subjects that I currently take.

GP scares the fuck out of me. We used to have these 2 fantastic GP students, Pamy and Alaric but they both transferred out of our class due to their different subject combinations. Now we're all lost. I need to read more I suppose. We have this vocabulary worksheet to complete that would equip us with the proper vocabulary to write essays on the topic of Education. It was so difficult. I've never felt so inept in my entire life.

I'm so glad I dropped Economics. A lot of people are complaining about it. And being a second intake student has its advantages. We don't have to sit for tests until much later. And we are given ample time to catch up on our tutorials.

Drama rehearsals are very tiring. We can go on into the late hours of the night. Everyone looks so stoned the very next day. It's quite amusing in a sense. The Drama seniors are very friendly and kind and make attending rehearsals all the more worthwhile.

MCS owes me $15 for their robes.

Haryati and I recently caught sight of the tapered mat in our school, which prompted us to elaborate and discuss briefly on the dynamics of being a mat/minah. Jillyan was being curious.

The mp3 which I've put on this blog is not working. That makes me sad.

I have an insane urge to go out. It's been a long week and I think I deserve some entertainment. Arina bailed out on us that day, but I think it was because she was not feeling well. She didn't come to school today. Get well soon darling.

I suppose everything is quite dandy here in AC. I haven't gotten myself into much trouble of late, which is always a good thing. Oh and one more thing, I'm addicted to Ribena. I think it's because it's so cheaply priced. OMG and they sell junk food as well, which is so surprising. I had always thought AC was the kind of school that promoted a healthy lifestyle, some bullshit about a holistic education. But now there's an additional stall that I can patronise. =)

I've managed to reconnect with a certain netpal recently. I'm quite proud of myself for that.

It's about time I stopped talking. Hey, I've actually blogged for a whole hour. It's 3.48am now. Fell asleep early yesterday and woke up today at 2-ish and decided to blog. Such is my sleeping patterns. I wonder why these things don't happen on a weekday that would at least ensure that I won't be late for school.

'Till later.

Somebody knock some sense into me.

2005-04-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

Let's begin today's entry with me sharing some rather embarassing thoughts that I've been having. First of all, I find Avril Lavigne oddly attractive.

I'd also be one to say that Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson and Shirley Manson all deserve to be on my to-get-laid-by list. But anyway, claiming Ms. Lavigne's alleged pulchritude would already be committing a cardinal sin.

News flash: My appeal into ACJC was successful.

AC is somewhat oppressive. I can't say that I'm perfectly happy being where I am right now. But then again, I've only been here for 3 and half days. Everything hasn't been as peachy as I had expected it to be.

When I first stepped into NY, I was apprehensive about pretty much everything. I was unsure of the type of friends that I should be hanging out with. I was very reserved and very cautious about what other people thought of me. At NY, there was a more dominant gender separation unlike in AC.

When I first stepped into AC, however, I had let my personality do all the hard work. I was put in a situation whereby, as an appeal student, I did not have an Orientation Group and I also did not have a class, because I wasn't there during the first three months. So it was imperative that I made as many friends as I could before the class postings.

I can't really confidently say that I have succeeded in that aspect.

In my desperation, I introduced myself to everything that moved. There was Ruth and Eve, who I had met on the way to the Hub. We were all looking for Mrs Creffield for different reasons however we were all also avid writers. There were the ever-welcoming CAPpers, and an assortment of ACS(i) schoolmates. There were also many friendly people who came to accept me as a single serving friend, like Erika and Colin from Geography lectures, Jasmine, from a certain clique I know, Marsha, Meghan and Christine from a certain audition I went for, Jane, a really friendly Cedarian and many others.

I was glad to see some familiar faces from NY. I don't think it'd ever be the same without Moniza and Arina They're the best. There's Chestine, Han Ip and that odd boy from RI who we frequently see walking around alone. Then there're Moniza's two adorable friends who bear a similar height to hers. And there's Arina's best friend, Amalina, and their friend Ryan.

There's also the amiable Drama people, like Ethel, Ankita, Hazel, Suraj, Meixi, Audrey and many others. CAPpers, Matthew, Judith, Kass and Brendan. And two of my very good friends Krishmen and Viknesh who have been so supportive all this while, whom, without them, I wouldn't have made it into the school. And then there's the friendly MCS people, like Hashim, Khairul, Faizul, Laila J, Laila K, Lin, Handi, Laura and Syikin.

Yes I would like to thank the academy.

I have made an obscene number of friends to date. My feat should be written into the Guinness Book of World Records or be featured in Ripley's Believe it or Not.

But there are just so many rules. On my first proper day in AC, I had been called up by the DM for having black sneakers, and she didn't even give me an opportunity to explain to her that I was an appeal student and that I was unaware of the rules. Apparently we're also not allowed to step onto the track. We're supposed to leave our bags at the entrance of the library before entering. The food that they sell in the canteen is also very expensive.

However, there are a few benefits. They have an awesome cafe in the Sport's Building which sells Mashed Potato and Cookies and an assortment of junk food. They have a computer lab which is open to everyone and anyone and you can practically do anything you want in there. The people who work at the photocopy room are very friendly and efficient.

There was class postings today. I'm in 1AA5. Apparently that's where Christine is too. There are also a few other people in my class whom I abhor very much but shall not be named to maintain the sanctity of this blog.

I was mildly upset throughout the whole day because of this. My form teacher also has an odd sounding name which is difficult to pronounce and who has a reputation to be highly anomalous. Nobody knows him/her/it. I've asked around. His/Her/Its name doesn't ring a bell to anyone.

So look, I updated see. =)

I AM SIMPLY IRATE TODAY!

2005-03-27T19:39:00.000+08:00

OMG, I am cheesed off! For no apparent reason. I just don't like people rushing me. It's like the world is going to end or something.

My parents are being very annoying. Ugh, leave me alone.

I am a very unhappy person right now. Nothing's going right. I don't want to be melodramatic and say that I'm on the verge of breaking down even though that might be timely. My CAP portfolio is getting nowhere. I have yet to enquire about taking science subjects in the arts faculty. I'm not sure I can find happiness being where I am right now. There's some place that I want to be, but I've not been granted entry. All there is to do now is to hope and revel in wishful thinking.

Okay.

This should amuse you.

2005-03-27T12:15:00.000+08:00

I'm not in the mood to write a proper entry. I probably won't be writing one any time soon because I'll be busy with school and an assortment of other projects. But I have however, compiled a few quoted metaphors from Fight Club.

I am Jack's smirking revenge.
I am Jack's cold sweat
I am Jack's raging bile duct
I am Jack's broken heart
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise

This amuses me to no end. If it doesn't do the same for you then I don't know what will.

Edit: I found out how to do this today as well. ★ Isn't that neat? It's a star. Now I no longer have to utilise the asterisks to represent stars. Not that I'd have much use of them anyway.

★ I can now use this to replace bullet points. I am so smart. =)

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

2005-03-27T00:54:00.000+08:00

I'm addicted to milk. Yeah.

Much love.

Like, seriously..

2005-03-17T19:05:00.000+08:00

Pierre Bouvier needs to shut up. Seriously. I am not making some idiotic pun. I mean business! I feel like shoving a large spiked mallet down his throat so I'd hear no more of his horrible nasal singing. I really should stop listening to the radio to avoid running into one of their atrocious songs. There's absolutely nothing catchy about them. You hear me! Nothing!

I don't know why I get myself so riled up about all these stupid talentless bands. They're a total waste of my time. Bad lyrics, bad music. I really don't know why people listen to them.

Today was so boring I tell you. I wanted to go watch that Spongebob Squarepants Movie but I was too lazy to get my bum out of the chair so I've been stuck here since morning. The process of re-downloading programmes and mp3s is highly monotonous. There is no excitement in it at all. I think I'll wait until next week to watch the movie. It'll probably be like the last NYJC related outing.

Oh, the audition went well. I can't wait for the JAE results to be out so that I can go down to ACJC to do paperwork. =)

Still, lazy to upload pictures. Bite me.

I would like to die now please.

2005-03-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

Here are some of the good things that happened today.

My dad called someone to reformat the computer.
My computer runs at a quicker pace now. No my computer doesn't actually run, it... okay you need to shut up now.
We can actually print something. I have no mood to be overdramatic and bitchy today but since I have some energy left from yesterday's plate of Seafood Kway Teow Gravy, I'll say this gratuitously, "Oh wow. We can print now. What a miracle. Woo. We're so darn smart."
MSN actually works. Okay, this is kind of a revelation since I had gone through an unexpected 3-4 months hiatus from the services of MSN. Quite literally. I couldn't even like, access my e-mail account using this computer.

Here are some of the horrible things that happened today

I only decided to save the pictures that I uploaded.
That means, anything else that does not otherwise resemble a picture, had been deleted.
That means, all 600+ of my beloved mp3s had been deleted.
I am not sure if it's 600 or not but I'd rather keep the number small so as not to make the situation more devastating than it already is.
I haven't eaten anything since yesterday.
I feel like crying now.

Yawn

2005-03-16T00:38:00.000+08:00

Okay. I am really, really tired. This post is merely here to remind myself to upload pictures and post them here and to write about the fantastic day I had at the beach. I have an infamous propensity for falling asleep in the process of completing homework and I don't see how blogging would be an exception to a similar occurrence.

So, like, I'm probably going to sleep now. And I need to wash my hair, and my face. I should not have downed all that Famous Amos Cookies, and those unhealthy Old Chang Kee food that's probably drenched with 2 vats of oil daily. I dislike acne.

My haircut was so bad that I had to make another trip down to the barber today to get it fixed. Yeah, it was that bad. It still sucks though.

Right, I'm supposed to be tired now. =)

Goodnight kids.

ROFL.

2005-03-14T10:03:00.000+08:00

Here's what this guy had to say about Hilary Duff.

HEM YOUR PANTS, child. And wipe off the whore lipstick. You're only sixteen -- you have two years before you can become a public skank.

Wait, I'm not sure if the author's a man or otherwise. All I know is that he/she/it is fucking hilarious.

After the haircut..

2005-03-13T19:05:00.000+08:00

I am an ugly person.

*cries*

To the barber!

2005-03-13T15:58:00.000+08:00

Fuckit.

I mean, I realised today that my efforts at growing out my hair would all be in vain because sooner or later some form of higher authority or another will demand for me to get a haircut. I suppose this is not the right time to be doing that sort of thing. Besides, even if I do manage to get away with inappropriate hair length and a fringe that stretches all the way to my solar plexus, the span of time of which I will be able to enjoy such a prospect is going to be short-lived.

The inevitability of this statement is undeniable. All us young studs will have to go for National Service and get free mandatory haircuts. The last time I had a Crew Cut was for AC's Drama Night production and it was a travesty. The lowest insult you can make of it is that I looked like a giant naked mole rat.

And I also realised a few moments ago that it'll take more than one and a half years for me to grow out my fringe until it reaches my solar plexus. Let's just say I was using a hyperbole.

So, off the the barber we go.

On a brighter note, my holidays are slowly being occupied with fun-filled activities to prevent me from dying of boredom. It feels weird not to have homework. I am not at the very least even remotely excited about having next Sunday all to myself and not slaving over last minute incomplete homework. I am so not prepared to deal with the psychological effects of that.

So, I have that Drama Audition on Monday. On Tuesday we'll be going to the beach again. And on Saturday we have a CAP outing. I think Friday should be an off-day because I have like Friday prayers and it usually clashes with whatever activities I have on.

I am so busy I tell you.

Once I get my haircut, do not be alarmed by it's atrocious state and proceed to cause me much embarassment by pointing and screaming at it and then fainting right in front of me. I'll simply think of a few good ideas on what to do with your body. Laughing at it is not allowed either because I will react malevolently.

Much love.

Art. Well sort of..

2005-03-12T21:17:00.000+08:00

A couple of arty close-ups taken throughout early January 'till March.

Yeah, I am such an ameteur.

Something that irked me today...

2005-03-12T11:10:00.000+08:00

Today, I carried out the mandatory Saturday morning blog hopping as I always do. From the moment I wake up, I immediately hop onto the chair, switch on the computer, download some now songs and perhaps, if the mood to blog kicks in, then I will probably blog. There is also the usual bloghopping.

Take a bath you say? Sorry, that's not in my dictionary. At least, not on a beautiful Saturday morning.

Ever stumbled upon a diarists profile that says that he or she is 14 going on 15, or 21 going on 22, like anyone ever gives a damn how old they are? Well this bothers me. A lot. The majority of bloggers who use this phrase are often adolescent teenage kids with a poor command of the language, and more specifically, girls who think with their vaginas.

Whoever invented that phrase should be shot multiple times on the back and in the throat and his brain should never be used for any sort of brain transplant because then the donor's lack of smarts would be transferred into an innocent dying man with some form of tumour or another. Wait, are brain transplants even possible?

OK! So like, what age would you be on your next birthday if you're 15-years old today? That's right, 16! Someone should give you a nobel prize for that startlingly mind bending discovery.

Why do people even write that kind of shit? I mean, they're obviously trying to insult the intelligence of the visitor to their blogs and therefore, let me advise all you fellow bloghoppers out there to evacuate the premises of their stupefying blogs immediately before you all turn into similar idiotic zombie bloggers who have no common sense whatsoever.

Stupid, just plain fucking stupid, I tell you.

If I had a tumour, I'd name it Marla.

2005-03-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

Okay. Today we got our fantastic class T-shirt. It's really awesome. It really shows that a lot of work had been put into the design for the shirt, thanks to our AEP classmates. I should take a picture of it someday and post it up when I'm not lazy. Hm, come to think of it, you might never get the chance to see it since I always manage to delve myself into random bouts of unproductivity.

Today we went to this odd open underground space that links the Citylink Mall to the Esplanade. We played truth or dare. I know. Right now you're probably questioning our sanity or the lack thereof, but I tell you there is a very good explanation for this unusual behavior.

The holidays are here!

That's right. Now there is a perfectly legitimate and legal reason not to come to school. Arina made her grand entrance at the Economics Tutorial today after her long self imposed hiatus from school which began, coincidentally right after the O Level Results were released.

Viknesh gave me a call today and told me that I could audition for ACSian Theatre to get into ACJC through drama. So the audition would be sort of an appeal for me if and when I don't get into AC through JAE which is highly probable. I am extremely excited about this. It's an opportunity not to be missed, and I'd be stupid to just throw it away just like that.

The audition's on Monday at 1pm. I can hardly wait.

Oh truth or dare was a blast. It was a total waste of time as well. At least that's how I feel. We travelled all the way to the Esplanade to play truth or dare when we could've easily done that somewhere near school or within the school compound itself.

There were an obscene amount of Dare's that we managed to pull off. Nobody remembers the answers to the Truth questions anyway so why bother mentioning them.

Okay, so I had to trade dustbins from one spot to another, scream at the top of my lungs, "I am so horny, somebody please hump me now," and proceed to hump a nearby pillar, and also throw a tantrum and scream, "I want my mommy now!" then breaking into tears.

Nadz did a lot of dancing, asked a few people if they had seen her shoe and threw a piece of candy across the length of the open space area using a chopstick

Nadia indiscreetly counted the number of people in the area, like right in their faces, and she had to balance a wallet on top of her head and ask a stranger if she'd seen her wallet.

Zu did a tango with Liyana all over the place, laid down beside a stranger and wore Nadia's bag over her head while screaming, "Who turned off the lights!?" then proceeding to bump against the wall.

Then Zu had a french test to take so we left. We got us some food to snack on before walking to the MRT station.

Today was kind of boring. I had a little fun, but it was still quite boring.

Another boring post.

2005-03-09T15:24:00.000+08:00

My lip ulcer isn't healing. It hurts when I eat spicy food.

School was stupid. I left early. Couldn't be bothered to attend the Maths Tutorial Lesson. We skipped Economics Tutorial in the morning and watched the middle portion of Fight Club during Literature. Damn that movie's hard to finish. Almost as hard as reading The Da Vinci Code.

Why do you torture me Dan Brown? Why? Why!?

That was odd. In a kinky bondage sort of way. But I digress.

I am skipping school tomorrow. Hooray. We're getting a half-day at school on Friday for getting excellent results in the A Levels. Which makes no sense whatsoever since we finish at 11.10am. I love how our Principal is so silly and adorable at the same time, it's almost a deadly combination.

Much love.

Edit: My monitor is broken. The screen width randomly resizes and there'd be odd flashing lines that appear across the screen, kind of like a B-grade horror movie that involves ghostly subliminal messages which are sent through the television.

Um, I have an errand to do, and poetry to write. And the sun is out again, which totally depresses me. It's simply too bright for my liking. Wish it rained a little. Not too much or my sneeakers will get wet again and I'd have to do without them for a day to let them dry.

I'll post pictures when I return because I don't have anything better to do.

Also, I am thinking of adding a new song to my blog every week. It's my own unique way of spreading good music to people who read out here. All they need to learn now is to comment more.

So comment, bitches.

Gifts.

2005-03-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

The presents I got for my birthday. Be jealous! If you haven't gotten me one, shame on you.

Knowledge is Power

2005-03-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

After attending the Maths Lecture today, and finally understanding the concept of Sigma Notation, I finally feel a little smarter. Go me!

However, nobody has any mood to go to school. Some have even planned which days that they'd absent themselves. How, methodical.

I think I want to attempt the Sigma Notation Tutorial Sheet now because I want to apply the concepts taught today. I do hope I succeed in my endless and desperate pursuit for knowledge.

Um, I skipped Maths Tutorial today with high hopes of having our test postponed for the sixth time, or better yet cancelled altogether. At this rate, I would expect all of us to have forgotten all the concepts of Inequalities.

The only other person that I see that is hyped up about school is Moniza's friend, Jeannette. She had traded her funky red spectacles for contact lenses. That was a fact you didn't really need to know but I said it anyway because I want to and this is my blog.

Um, I might blog about the birthday that I just had. About a week ago, I think. God, I'm old. Yet, I don't look like I'm 17. I look like a Nepalese farm boy with bad growth genes.

I am quite disturbed by the fact that I get random bursts of energy that gets me going only for a short period of time. Damn you Mitochondria. After a while, I have no mood to do anything or even move from a fixed position.

Right now I want to go to bed even though there's CSI on TV. I'll probably wake up at an unearthly hour to turn on the computer to blog again. I'm looking forward to that.

Cheer up, everyone. The holidays are drawing near.

Tomorrow will suck

2005-03-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

I shall bemoan the insipid reality of how tomorrow will turn out. We end at 4.10pm. There should be a limit on how long curriculum hours could last. Our class has been gradually reduced to numbers which can only be described as meagre. People refuse to come to school, that is until the JAE posting results are out.

For now, I think they don't see the point in attending school. That makes the class very depressing. No one has the mood to attend tutorials and such. Heck, no one has the mood to do anything. School is the only place that could offer any other form of excitement and everyone agrees with this statement because there is absolutely nothing you can do at home alone.

It's really boring here at home. Most of the time I get hungry and fill my empty stomach and pretend to be heartily content about everything when in true fact I am deathly bored.

That's one of the reasons why I enjoy school.

Um, the J2s dislike me now because of my ambivalence. I put AC Science as my first choice for JAE but it hasn't even been confirmed that I'm in. And they immediately assume that I'm leaving NY. Like, I have to enrol into another school first before I officially leave right? And to do that I need the posting results which are not due for another 3 weeks or less.

Silly J2s. They should be glad I put NY Science as my second choice. I'll most likely get into NY Science because I won't make the 10 point cut for AC Science. Blah.

I miss acting. The Drama Club here at NY is in shambles. I feel ashamed for them. This is one of the reasons why I want to go to AC so badly because they have a fantastic Drama Club. Vik, Krish, Matthew and Yi Jun tell me it's hard work. They stay in school 'till as late as 10 o'clock at night. I miss that a lot. Hard work usually pays off. At the rate that I'm going here at NY, I'd be lucky to find anything to do that pays off.

Another thing that's in shambles is my CAP portfolio. I have 2 proses. 3 weeks left to shape it up. Okay, I'm tired now so I'm going to go sleep.

Besides, I don't want to be late for school again.

<3

I think I'm going to be sick

2005-03-07T21:07:00.000+08:00

There were at least 6 or 7 ants in my tea. I swear, I could've at least consumed 3 bits of thorax and 5 of their antennas. I don't know how the fuck they got in there but I was mildly disturbed by that.

I think it must've been the heat. Ants just refuse to obey their sense receptors when they tell them that swimming in hot tea could prove fatal. They just dive in like it's some sacred water theme park, or some haven of divine sugary fluids.

My Dad made us tea which my Mom refused to drink. I should've listened to her. It was horrible. It was bitter and tasteless and grainy. No wait, the grainy bits came from the cooked ant bits so I can't blame him for that. I nearly stormed outside to protest that he was trying to poison us all with his deadly tea. But it turned out okay in the end. It wasn't stirred properly when the sugar was added and they all settled to the bottom of the glass while I was waiting for the tea to cool down.

I noticed some pretty sugar swirls before drinking it all up. It was delightful considering I had to experience all that unpleasant bitterness.

I have to stop skipping classes. I cannot remember the last time I actually learnt something. The only lessons I have been attending are Literature Tutorials and Lectures. I've begun to deny the existence of Economics lectures and Maths lectures have almost been inducted to such a category, though I keep telling myself to refrain from doing so.

At this rate I will morph into a sodding onion, that occasionally gets eaten and spat out by a curious dog that is unaware of my tear inducing sulphuric compounds. And then I will watch sadistically as it whimpers away into the night, and I will celebrate the day I reign victorious against a mere bucktoothed canine. Me and my fellow vegetable friends will sing and dance and photosynthesize harmoniously for a day before we schemingly plot to rid the world of unintelligible organisms.

But for now, I need to stop skipping classes. I also need to be more self disciplined and stop relying on my mother to wake me up in the morning and to be more receptive to the annoying sounding alarm tone that comes from my handphone. Perhaps I require two or three more of such devices that serve a similar purpose.

You see, I was late for school today. I don't even know if my Civics Tutor was even aware of that. But me and my CT, we have a good rapport and it's hard for her to get pissed at me without feeling a bit guilty. I've been such a co-operative and responsive student. Actually, all I do know is how not to aggravate a teacher. Sometimes it's good to swallow your pride to please a teacher and comply with her demands despite her being oh-so-naggy all the time. She'll grow to like you and she won't have the gall to be angry with you because she has a conscience.

We watched a whole lot of movies today. We watched half of Fight Club in school, which was a rare treat from our Literature Tutor. We crashed Nadz's house after school to watch Ju-On and The Princess Diaries. That was an odd combination but we felt that after getting so spooked out by the horror movie, we figured a good chick flick would calm our nerves.

All they ever did was oogle at good looking actors. Girls will be girls.

I have yet to post pictures. But before I do that, I need to bathe and like, fucking shampoo my hair because it hurts and I'm balding and I have dandruff all over and that irks people in school.

Today the batteries for my camera ran out, so I couldn't take pictures of my friends screaming at the scary parts of Ju-On. That made me a little sad.

However we bought a whole lot of food before the movie marathon so I was happy. Despite not being able to eat at Sakura today, I was quite content with all the food that I had bought. And assortment of food from Old Chang Kee and a BBQ Turkey Bacon Double Burger Meal.

I finally had the chance to access my hotmail. And I also had the chance to speak with JX who was all the way in Australia to further his studies. I'm sure we all miss him.

Allegedly, the March holidays is meant to commence next week, so I figured I had better attend school dutifully. I get spates of boredom during the holidays that drive me to the brink of insanity. I simply cannot take that.

Much love all.

Ow, it hurts, okay?

2005-03-06T11:06:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning to find my lower lip partially inflamed. I have a circumscribed inflammatory and suppurating lesion on the ~~skin~~ lips. It hurts to see it in the mirror, throbbing. I can almost take my pulse rate from it. Lip ulcers are ow.

And my hair is falling off. I think it's because I didn't take a bath before going to bed yesterday. My black Paul Frank shirt is speckled with dusty white dandruff. I need take a trip down to Carrefour to get new shampoo. The problem with my hair is that I can only use a certain type of shampoo and if I use other types which are unsuitable for my hair, then it'll start falling off and gets oily very easily. There is a Rejoice: Rich sitting pretty on my bathroom rack, but I don't use it due to the abovementioned explanation.

So, in fact, I haven't washed my hair in like a week now. All I do is run it through water, which isn't very effective at all.

I want to grow out my hair. And I can't do that if they keep falling off so I'm going to have to buy shampoo later to make it stop.

Here's something you all can look forward to today.

Today wil be christened as Blog-a-lot Day, simply because I have nothing better to do. I don't have homework. Okay, so maybe I have that Inequalities Tutorial Sheet sitting there waiting for me to complete it. I'm already up to Question 9 and that's only 3 more part questions and the final question to complete so there.

There's a lot of blogging to be done today. There's also a lot of pictures to be uploaded, and I have all the time in the world to do that. Well, that is, until my parents drag me to the mosque for religious lessons/lectures. I've been forced to do that ever since quitting religious class.

Half of my Sundays will be burnt due to that and I am very unhappy about it.

I am so upset.

2005-03-03T14:52:00.000+08:00

The only thing worse than not getting into the JC of your choice would be to not be in a JC at all. Or a Polytechnic. Or a Technical Institute.

And do you want to know why this probability even crossed my mind? I'll tell you.

The MOE site is being a bitch. And it fucking pisses me off. I really think that it's something wrong with my computer due to it's highly acclaimed status for being a regulation fuck up.

Oh dear but what if some MOE staff stumbles upon this blog and decides to void my JAE application? Shit, then I think I should express my agitation in a polite and pleasant manner.

MOE site, so full and fair of grace. Would you be so kind so as to, like work please? I'll reward you with a pet elephant, if you send me to the application site. Please?

I have been clicking on the big blue 'here' link for hours now. Fortunately enough, there is a certain degree of variety when it comes to the site that results from clicking the link. I would either receive a message saying that the server is busy or I would receive a message saying that the site does not exist at all. To be honest, the latter makes me fucking scared.

Looks like I'm going to have to take a trip down to one of my relatives' houses to do my application then. I cannot take anymore fuck ups from this retarded computer.

On a brighter and more chirpier note, school has been fun because we don't have work to do. We all put on sad and dreary faces and overwhelm teachers with our foul moods, droning on about how badly we did for our O Levels when in actual fact the class did pretty well.

I am almost the dumbest person in class. This is a real boost in my confidence.

Suddenly, I don't believe in academia anymore. I just have this overwhelming urge to memorise large chunks of paragraphs from textbooks that won't matter twenty years down the road because they'd all be redundant, altered and reprinted - over and over again. In the next generation, syllabuses will be changed, and topics and subjects unheard of will be invented so that we'd all have something to study, so that they can serve as a measure of your abilities.

And who do we blame for this mechanical approach on how we live our lives here in Singapore? No not the government. Blame it on the retarded piece of fuck who invented meritocracy.

The irony of it all. Here I am ranting and raving about it's flaws, when I'm really keeping my fingers crossed about getting into my choice JC. I'm only doing this to survive.

No one's stopping me from forming my own opinions.

Fifteen Points Bitches!

2005-02-28T17:27:00.000+08:00

Now, I hope you're happy.

=)

2005-02-28T07:50:00.000+08:00

It's Results Day!

*dances*

I'm not sure I'll stay in this mood after I see my O Level Certificate

But for now...

*dances* =)

Never again.

2005-02-27T08:14:00.000+08:00

I don't think I can keep this up.

I'm sick and tired of pretending that everything's okay even though it's not.

I regret rejecting concern to conceal despair. I don't know if I can bring myself to fake another smile.

I don't think there's anyone out there for me to talk to. My new friends don't know me well enough, and I keep a hush of things about myself. My old friends are probably busy with their lives. My family doesn't care.

So what if there're no shoulders to cry on? I've already run out of tears to cry.

So how do you feel?

2005-02-26T06:54:00.000+08:00

Do you ever get the feeling that your friends are losing interest in you? I don't know, but I am however convinced that these kind of things are most likely to happen if you study in a JC. Sooner or later you'll find yourself in a different clique with a whole new set of friends.

It's only a matter of time before everything falls apart.

I have in my possession the infamous and controversial best seller by Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code. Be jealous. No wait, most of you would've already read it at least 3 times already so why bother. Nadz has been circulating this book for a while now. Her mom is a librarian and she gets the best books by request. And she'd be able to hog these books for however long she wants to because her mom can like renew it and stuff. So now, I have something to accompany me through my long bus and train rides rather than just switching to dormant mode.

I'm just curious about this book, and what makes it so fucking special.

Anyway, we have a Dikir performance in about ten hours. We are so talented I tell you. I have to go now.

Here's a song that's been stuck in head for a while. A thorn for every heart is <3.

In my country there in the distance
Everytime I leave it's not the time to try
Did you think before you got it
I'm leaving for all reasons
Everytime you breathe I hope you think of me
Those are the words you told me, told me

No questions why'd I'd have to leave
I guess it's time to leave
One reason I restored with sleep
I'll think of what I'll be
This moment feels like destiny
I won't dare to eat
Won't you tell me, tell me?

You want me to always remember
You promised I always will
You'll watch and wait for my return
You promised I'm coming home

For all the lonely nights when your not feeling alone
You'll taunt the midnight sky and wish the sunrise
This the life we live, the only one that we know
these things just never ends, never ends

You want me to always remember
You promised I always will
You'll watch and wait for my return
You promised I'm coming home

It's not the time to leave, its not the last goodbye
Don't know I can't resist this
Did you think before you've all forgot it?
I'm destined to always come home
Everytime you breathe I hope you think of me
Those are the words you told me, told me

So when will it end?
When will it end?
When will it end?
When will it end?

Sometimes I don't know
Where I am
Where I'll be

Feels like I'm so far
Far away
Far away
From home

athornforeveryheart - February

So, did you hear?

2005-02-23T23:32:00.000+08:00

Apparently the results aren't going to be released on Friday. Rumour has it that Monday's the correct and accurate date for the results release. I was not happy to hear about this. In fact, when Kevin told me about it today over an SMS, I was positively fuming.

So 48 more agonising hours wouldn't hurt, now would it?

Anyway, today, I skipped school again and did some catching up with two of my old schoolmates. They're in RJC, and that means, they are smart and me being their friend effectively makes me a smart person as well in spite of what you might think.

The government wants all the O Level recepients to endure long queues at CPF branches all over Singapore to obtain a Singpass. Apparently a Singpass is a compulsory prerequisite when you are making your 12 selections to enter JCs. Shih Haur and Kevin sacrificed a GP talk to accompany me today. We had lunch, then we queued for my Singpass and then we bought ourselves Bubble Tea and had a little chit-chat.

I had a great time joking around, talking about scandalous shows like Desperate Housewives and discussing our newfound school environments. Meetings like these remind me of how much I really miss everyone.

Shih Haur had to go back to school for training. On the way to the MRT station, we met Delwin, an overachieving, too-clever-for-his-own-good, sonofabitch. I apologise for citing such an insensitive remark. Delwin's a good person really. He's so hardworking and makes work look so easy, which makes me feel so inadequate.

He accompanied us through the train ride. We dropped off at Orchard, and proceeded to THAT CD SHOP so that Kevin could spend his vouchers. He bought some dandy Jazz CDs. Then we headed for the Begawan Solo cake shop at Centrepoint. We decided to walk so that we could spend time pointing and laughing at people who don't know how to dress properly and discuss the synonyms of various words and their uses.

It was only when I stepped into the cake shop that I realised that there was a similar Begawan Solo outlet at Causeway Point. Then I thought about how far I'd need to travel to collect my cake if I had ordered it from the Centrepoint outlet. The kind lady at the counter however told us that we could order one at the Centrepoint outlet but produce a receipt at the Causeway Point outlet and collect it there. It was quite disappointing to know that we couldn't have messages written on the cake because that would require at least 2 days order in advance.

The cake's for my mom. We're celebrating our birthday tomorrow. My mom loves chocolate cake so I got her one.

Tuesday

I couldn't update about Tuesday because once I got home I slept like a baby. Here are some of the highlights of the day.

Moniza and I skipped Math Lecture to research on the debate. Zuhara, and Nadz had their lunch time performance which turned out great considering how last minute their preparations were. They had like only one or two rehearsals. Since the discussion room was booked the Literature tutorial was cancelled, and we were given more time to solidfy our case for the debate.

It was crunch time after that and the debate was very, very tense. People blasted us in all directions during the Q&A session. The students from 05A1 were so mean. Moniza was very frazzled by all of it, and she wanted me to do the reply speech, which I was so not emotionally prepared for. Nadz and Moniza handled all the questions thrown at them like a pro and I merely panicked and froze. So after the Q&A session and a comment by one of the teachers we were expecting the reply speech round to commence but she ended up announcing the winner of the debate. We were all relieved about not having to do a reply speech, and were overjoyed to know that we won the debate for having a more logical case.

After the whole thing was over, we shook hands and all was well.

After Maths Tutorial, we had Dikir again, which I choose not to discuss about because I dread attending Dikir practice. I did however suffered a vicious attack from a bus door.

853 was packed like a can of tunas, and I was unfortunate enough to have been stuck at the front. Now I know why we're advised not to stand on the steps. When the entrance door flipped open, my leg was caught between the door and the step and it was effectively wedged there for a good few seconds.

I was like, "My foot! Shit, shit..." But somehow I managed to yank it out. Slowly the bus emptied and we found ourselves some good seats that would spare us from such harrowing situations.

Do you feel that sense of inevitability?

2005-02-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

I do.

The only stress free day would be Wednesday. Tomorrow we have that fucked up debate. Thursday we have to perform the Dikir for that bitchy Cikgu. And on Friday our results are released and the country's suicide death toll will hit the roof.

Much Love.

I've failed weekend rituals

2005-02-20T00:40:00.000+08:00

I have a splitting headache, so I've decided to go to bed early. I'm not supposed to. It's barely 2am, and it's Saturday.

I am so ashamed of myself.

What are the chances that Circa Survive's new CD hit the shelves of local music stores? Zero. So I suppose illegal filesharing in such circumstances is excusable.

And by, 'local music stores' I meant HMV, because they're the only ones who have every CD by Bjork. But oddly enough they don't have any of Juliana Theory's albums, which is quite baffling, seeing how its expansive variety is endless.

If you're interested, you can click on my profile and attempt to download the audio file that I have. It's an mp3 by Circa Survive. I still do love Saosin. But it's not the same without Anthony Green.

His screams are orgasmic.

Much love all.

Oh, such progress..

2005-02-19T22:44:00.000+08:00

I tried to amuse myself today.

I failed.

And now I'm really hungry.

I will spend the rest of the night convincing myself that I do in fact have great hair, despite how fucked up it gets.

Mm.. Toenails..

There's this girl from school that I like. I talked to her at Escape Theme Park on Thursday. So yeah, I'm happy now. I go for Math lectures for all the wrong reasons.

Let's just get things over with

2005-02-19T00:06:00.000+08:00

I fucking hate school. And being broke all the time annoys me. And it's harder for me to ask for cash from my parents knowing our situation's decayed to such an extent.

I can't wait for GPA to start. Because as soon as it does it'll be over before you know it. According to the other Dikir participants, our routine is in shambles. We haven't perfected anything, and we'd just added a few more steps for the stanzas in the new song that is to be sung. Running a 10 minute Dikir marathon is suicide. Your voice will strain, and strain so much you'll hurt so bad, you'd just want to fall over and die.

I can't help being a workaholic though. Completing that Experential Learning worksheet makes me feel smart. Once again, I have proven that I am indeed, clever.

I hate doing homework that is to be graded. Are you trying to say that all the work that I've done for you before is unimportant? So why have I been working so hard for? Are you trying to say that certain homework can be abandoned while the important ones that are to be graded must be completed diligently?

The education system is so fucked and flawed it's nauseating.

There's a photo log to do. God knows what that means. There's also a debate coming up on Tuesday against 05A1. This House Would Do Without Men, opposition party. Moniza you have to turn up on Monday so we'd at least have some time to have some last minute discussions on strengthening our case.

Nadz and Zu are so stressed about their Lunch-time performance. It's due like next week, around midweek, and they haven't rehearsed yet. I'm sure the actors have gone through their first reading, but according to their sexy drama teacher Ms Melissa Kwok, they need more interaction between the characters. I wish I could help.

Tonight I can conclude that every single member of this family other than myself is completely deaf. As this entry is being processed, my Dad is switching radio channels, and the volume is unbearably high. We're going to wake the neighbours. It's almost as if he wants to in fact. My brother increases the volume of the television when the door is locked and he's routinely sifitng through his porn collection. And my Mom always tells me to repeat myself. I think it's either because I speak too softly or that she is deaf. Conclusively, from the recent trends that I have noticed so far in this cursed household, I can settle for the latter.

I don't think I am hard of hearing though. I do know however, that I have fluid ear wax. Disgusting ear secretion flows out randomly, and hardens on the outer areas of my ears. I'm not sure if my friends notice it. I've had to claw them out and flush them a couple of times before I bathe.

I am going to grow out my hair before the O Level's results release.

I need to complete my Inequalities Tutorial, and I also have to start on that stupefying Econs Newspaper Article. And I miss attending lectures. I have been such a naughty boy, for skipping lectures and quite recently, school. I'm very guilty for spending so much money on food. But a boy's got to eat you know.

With the aid of a very idle out-of-work parent (and a few friends today), I have successfully finished consuming all the chocolate-related food given to me during Valentine's Day.

YJC's Carnival was so bleak. They had a dunking machine that was so cheap looking and pathetic I couldn't help myself laughing. The ones at ACJC are so shiny and neat. Nadia commented that YJC's canteen can be compared to slums. I agree.

I regret teaching my brother how to use Limewire. I shouldn't have promoted him from being a martyr of computer ineptitude to a martyr of computer ineptitude who knows how Limewire functions. Now, I have an infestation of rap and hip hop music mingling with my tasteful punk rock music. I don't think he minds if I delete them. He'd just download them all over again anyway.

I've been invited to join a band. It was so flattering. Apparently not many people can play the guitar and sing at the same time, so I would be considered, uh, unique. And clever. I love being clever.

Clever is just so, me.

I realise that by contributing my alleged talents to the band would require me to stay in NY. Thanks a lot for introducing another factor that further dampens the fucking dilemma that I'm stuck in.

Somehow, when I upload pictures that I had taken of myself, they turn out bad. I am tremendously upset about not being able to whore myself on the internet with quality pictures. This time, I will utilise my digital camera's flash function to accentuate my non-existent features.

Buying new stuff to wear is not an option. I am temporarily impoverished as of today. I am at the mercy of my parents, who can be quite unpredictable when it comes to issuing money to me.

Hey, I talked a lot today, that's good.

I am sleepy. I have to go to school tomorrow at 10. Which is so like, fucked up for the lack of a better word/phrase/expletive.

Much love.

Did I miss anything?

2005-02-18T11:38:00.000+08:00

I decided against going to school today. But since we have a performance next week and we're severely under-rehearsed, I am going back there to like, do my part.

But first, I have to find a way to get myself unstuck from this chair. There's this queer cosmic adhesion that doesn't allow me to get up to do other things. In other words I'm lazy.

I can't wait for the O Level results release. And I'm going to take a bath now.

Oh and there's this other thing...

2005-02-17T20:19:00.000+08:00

I AM SO FRIENDLY AND APPROACHABLE, IT SICKENS ME.

Dude, I have got to stop talking to strangers.

I am quite delighted about getting a chance to speak to people whom I am usually intimidated by or am attracted to.

It's good that NY has people who are willing to receive overtly extroverted and sociable retards like myself.

Yeah, I'm friendly, that's all I'm saying. Nothing more.

Yay, for natural selection.

2005-02-17T19:46:00.000+08:00

So, apparently, my computer's cursor has evolved and mutated and learnt how to combat my efforts at keeping it fairly mobile throughout my daily utility. I have given up trying to explain its misbehavior, because quite frankly, I've run out of things to blame. Perhaps viruses today have become so complex and vicious that they have the ability to dispel the user's efforts at fixing the problem.

So currently, the cursor freezes, it happens when it's not high on virtual saccharides that allows it to slide across the screen on impluse. So yeah, now it refuses to budge from one area of the screen.

Speaking of sugar rushes, after our Experential Learning session at the Escape Theme Park today, we all splurged on Cokes, and Skittles at White Sands due to dehydration. Despite the overwhelming surge of sugar that we had consumed, that might cause us to become overnight diabetics, none of us became inappropriately hyper. In fact, Nadz and I actually slept through the journey home on 39. Zu is not coming to school tomorrow because her whole class is skipping school to go to KBox, which is unbearably amusing. I have to give my belated Valentine's Day/Friendship week present to my classmates and friends tomorrow. I hope they all turn up.

Wait, even I don't feel like going to school. So how am I going to redeem myself as being a caring and thoughtful student? =(

As of now, my teal Thai raccoon, is battling the innocent flower with orange petals given by Mrs Gan, all thanks to my attention seeking, and hyper-active and highly irritating 9 year old cousin. I have yet to put a picture of the flower here, and I will do that soon when I'm not busy making paper sunflower clones, their artificial flower counterparts. It amazes me just how many innovative ways there are to simply craft flowers. They can be woven, sewed, and constructed through rigorous cutting and pasting of shapes into something that somewhat resembles a flower.

I am only posting because people tell me to. That explains the mundane and completely disjointed topics that I discuss.

So, okay, look, I posted see. *Waves*

I'll talk later. There're a lot of things bothering me, to such an extent that I get too distraught by them to speak about them discursively. I might just blare inconsiderately, but I won't do it now see.

Valentine's Day

2005-02-15T00:31:00.000+08:00

I am thoughtless and unkind. Today, I watched people around me exchange Valentine's Day gifts with each other, while I just sat there, receiving and pretending to be busy with something else or another, just so I could hide under facades to conceal my shameful self. I blame 4 years of exemption from celebrating Valentine's Day. Unless you had a girlfriend from another school, anyone who was caught exchanging gifts in school would be branded a raging homo.

You see, boys from boys' schools never celebrate Valentine's Day, unlike girls in girls' schools. It'll be too inappropriate and totally awkward for guys to be issuing manly hugs and exchanging, gift-wrapped wedgies to each other, because, quite frankly, that's all we indulge in. There is no tangible expression of love for each other, except for that certain sense of brotherhood. Other than that, boys will be boys.

And suddenly, you get shoved into a co-ed environment and you're expected to know the rules of celebrating Valentine's Day - prepare gifts, tokens of appreciation that expresses your love and friendship.

I think my other friends in ACJC would've already caught on fast, and I'm like the only one left behind. I'm a thoughtless loathsome creature.

On Wednesday, you're all getting paper sunflowers. A belated Valentine's Day gift, to make up for my inadequate behaviour. I am so broke. I cannot afford all the chocolate that you buy for each other.

It was beflummoxed by the non-exhaustive supply of chocolate that had been showered upon each and every one of us. These evil entities also take on different forms, such as, brownies, Hershey's kisses and chocolate bars. And some people even had the cheek to be innovative and unconventional by substituting these with lollipops and gummi candy thinking that they would reduce the normal sugar intake supplied by chocolate. Lucky for me, I didn't devour them heartily. I refrigerated them, two brownies from Serene and Huiwen, lots of Hershey's kisses from Moniza, the cookies from Arina, and and assortment of chocolate and other goodies from a host of people I know.

Thank you for your gifts, I feel so loved.

We won the poetry competition. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Only 4 of us performed, and it was the shortest performance amongst the four. I think the judges were looking for something that was short and sweet, and ahem, well rehearsed. Despite the time constraints and the inefficiency of the crowd that I was given to work with, a dedicated few managed to pull some strings in a final attempt at making things happen. It was all teamwork and co-operation basically. We had two parts to our skit and we couldn't perform the other one which Moniza wrote due to our lack of preparation. Lynette was pretty upset that she wasn't given a chance to perform, I could tell. I'm truly sorry about that, I wish things could've turned out better.

The J2 Literature tutor, Ms Melissa Kwok, is so adorable. She reminds me of Ms Deborah Meyer. Give me a moment while I allow the carnal thoughts to quickly come and go.

I was so stressed. All morning, all 4 forehead wrinkles were on display, and as a minute flashed by, I felt my hairline recede, and every second that shook, faded a strand of my ravenous hair. But we won, and I was just so glad it was over. We got notebooks. And Nadz and I got these nice flowers from Ikea or Toys 'R' Us or wherever. I'll post a picture of it soon.

I was so relieved to hear that the GP debate was postponed. Or else, I would have had suffered multiple cardiac arrests and set a new world record. I really think we should allow the rest of the class to do some of the work. It's always the same old people stealing the thunder.

Being emo has become such a trend. And I am bohemian that way, but I can't help being what people say I am. However, I am completely disgusted by blogs who claim that they're emo but contain entries that suggest that they're unable to set free their former jock-selves.

Oh my, this has turned out to be a completely random blog entry.

And let me baffle you with this apparently ambiguous statement, "Dear God, give me a sign!"

Still don't know if I'm staying or leaving.

Cheer up, emokid!

2005-02-12T00:45:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, composing revolting love poems, that include shameless rhyming schemes can be quite entertaining, however unhealthy it may be. Nevertheless, we're being productive.

The weather is killing me. I am sick and tired of the sun. Temperatures out here go up to a high of 34 degrees. I am sick and tired of having to squint like a seventy year old woman everytime I get under the sun.

That odd looking sheep on the Livejournal main page is giving me the creeps. Someone should quickly slay it for an early thanksgiving. I don't care, save the turkeys for christmas, we're having some spicy sheep for dinner.

And Livejournal communities have to stop championing overused phrases such as, 'Eyeliner is sex' or 'Red heads are sex' or 'Emoboys are sex'. Soon, everything in this damn world will be sex. Not that I've anything to complain about.

I abhor pimples. They hurt when I try touch them, even though people tell me not to. But I don't listen because I am convinced that I am a clever person. Not necessarily the wisest, but still, clever. What a respectable brand to call.

And to all the people who don't have faith in me, I say, go fuck yourself.

Oh god, suddenly, I just can't wait to get out of here.

Don't miss me.

No one ever does anyway.

Why do you do these things!?

2005-02-10T09:21:00.000+08:00

You incompetent, vulgar piece of technological trash!

You see, the cursor habitually paralyses when I add blog entries which prompts me to restart the computer, which is such a hassle because then I'd have to re-open all the programmes which were running, and re-construct playlists and what not.

And then, there's this other problem that is completely baffling and shocking at the same time. But I've found a way to remedy this glitch so everything's quite dandy in the end. The cursor suddenly gets possessed and it slides across the screen uncontrollably. You're attempts at gaining control of the cursor by violently smashing your mouse on the floor will be in vain. All you need to do actually is just unplug your mouse from the CPU. And then plug it back in. This will cause all manic cursor activity to cease and return to it's original state.

Obviously this must have been a virus running its course.

Grr..

2005-02-10T09:00:00.000+08:00

We all know that in the absence of a clock, or a similar device that tells the time, one can rely on guaging the brightness of the sky to approximate the time.

This morning, I woke up with really bad sniffles. I didn't know if I was going to sneeze or cough and my mouth was so dry, the Gobi desert would seem like a resevoir. I blamed it on my brother's bed, of which I had found myself sleeping on the day before. So to assuage my clammy self, I moved to the couch outside and fell into peaceful slumber.

Then I woke up again this morning, saw the sky radiate a gentle soothing blue. The kind of shade that told me, "Wake up, wake up you buffoon it's 10am. Don't you have to be somewhere by now?" Wherever that voice came from, bless his soul, because he was right. I have a movie to catch, and I'm going to be monumentally late.

So, I jumped out of bed, ran like a raving maniac to several parts of the house, in search for a clock to confirm the exact time.

"Where are all the fucking clocks? Oh my gosh, this isn't happening."

I usually have this problem of waking up at random places and not remembering where I had last slept. But this is no joke. It's not that I couldn't recognise that I woke up in my house today, but all the clocks just, disappeared. And my mom doesn't practise feng shui, so all the furniture are in the right place.

It was only a matter of time, that I realised that my handphone could actually tell time. And - lo and behold - it was only 8.30am. I had gone through severe paranoia for nothing.

I blame it on poor judgment of sky colour.

Oh and I have to take a bath now. And I have to place all the furniture I'd knocked over in the process to their original positions.

Happy Chinese New Year

2005-02-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year, to all my Chinese friends.

Isn't it plain coincidence that most Chinese festivals involve the moon one way or another? There's that Mid-Autumn Festival, that comes after the Hungry Ghost Festival, that's also known as the Mooncake Festival. Ahh, maybe it's just me.

Here's an update. Liyana, Siti and I are going to perform next Wednesday on College Friendship Week. This is totally awesome because there's a new crowd to perform for, and I miss doing it, so this would be a great opportunity. It's my first time having female vocals in a performance, and I think it's going to turn out great. We haven't finalised the song list yet, but I'll be sure to keep you posted soon.

Don't worry Vik, Krish, I'm still with you guys after all this is done.

I have Literature homework. I also have that idiotic Quadratic Equations Tutorial Sheet to complete. Next week we have a debate for GP, with the motion, This House Would Do Without Men. On a positive note, we're the opposition party for that debate. Wouldn't it be like totally ironic if the proposition was made up of 3 guys? Anyway, I'm a reserve for the team, but still, we have to do lots of research on the topic. I'm doing research on the emotional effects of a world without men. The team comprises of Nadz, Moniza, Ellis, Jayshree and Me. I think we're going to do a great job, I'm sure of it.

Next Monday, which is Valentine's Day, we're having a Poetry Competition in the Library during our lecture period. The J2 Literature teachers are judging the competition and guess who was picked to host the show? None other than yours truly. Sometimes I just wonder how I get myself into these things and putting myself through unnecessary stress. We have to go shopping for the prizes and write a simple script for the competition as emcees. When I say we I meant Nadz and I, because we were both picked by Mrs Gan as hosts for the competition.

NY's MLCS is participating in a competition called GPA, god knows what that stands for. Anyway, we have to perform during the intermission or something and we have to put up a Dikir performance. So, now that the whole Chinese New Year Float business is done, I've been staying back for Dikir practices which is quite bleak. There is nothing exciting about Dikir practice whatsoever. I'd rather rehearse for our performance for Friendship Week. Since it's compulsory for all the guys to be performing, I am obligated to attend the sessions.

Lucky for me I've done my Economics homework. At least I've done something this week.

What a letdown. We didn't win anything for that Chinese New Year Float Competition. Phoenix won something for having the best skit and Pegasus was the unanimous winner for their great float. They deserved it I suppose.

And one more thing. Girls want guys to serenade them. Apparently they like that.

I have a movie to go for tomorrow with my friends because I have a life and you don't so there.

Soon it'll be coming...

2005-02-07T02:04:00.000+08:00

17 days to 17. Soon, my age will match the title of a teenage lifestyle magazine. That'd be something I won't be looking forward to.

In due time, another wrinkle will form upon the forehead of an ageing youth, and as much as he'd like to think of it as weather-beaten wisdom, the plain fact is that we're all really stumbling into geriatric bliss.

Right now there're other more pressing issues to dwell upon. I wish I didn't have to make a decision. Then again, I'd be disappointed if I didn't have to.

I don't want to face it. It's not right, how do you expect me to choose?

I don't want to go on, pondering upon what could've been. I'll make sure that doesn't happen. I'll make sure that everything works out, as it should be.

As of now, my future is pretty much fucked whichever way you see it. This endless pursuit for contentment is a wild goose chase. I never thought I'd say it but, I feel like giving up.

Oh, I can't wait to turn seventeen. Sweet sixteen you will be missed.

It's a terrible place.

2005-02-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

Seriously. The Internet is not as big as it may seem. I have got to tell everyone to remove my link from their blogs very soon. I had just practised casual blog-hopping just now, and I had unintendedly stumbled upon some very juicy blogs.

Of which most of the information that I have discovered from reading them proved very useful indeed. But this has to stop. I mean, it's not very good to read somebody else's blog without their permission. There is a certain degree of privacy intended in having one. Even so, I am the sort who usually never reveals it to the author that I had been reading their blogs all this time.

Anyway, my point is. The Internet is a dangerous place.

Gone are the days where your relentless rantings would be kept safely under lock and key. Now, everything's out in the open. Even though you're alone, you have this creepy feeling that you're being watched.

Which brings me to my next point. If you have been entrusted with the permission to access my blog, do not at any cost, blare it's URL publicly. If you have somehow for some strange inexplicable reason, discovered this blog despite my relentless efforts at keeping it relatively private, do leave a comment. I don't bite.

I would only react violently on discovering that somebody has found me out for the first few seconds. Calm breathing will follow and I will pleasantly accept your request to access my blog freely. You will however have to update me by leaving a comment during every visit to this blog.

I think the rules are far from stringent. It's ridiculous for me to have that unwanted fear of a stranger having access to my blog. I mean, for goodness sake, it's my blog! It belongs to me, and I should be able to write whatever I want without being so conscious about it's contents, or even stress over the fear that something I've written about someone might somehow be revealed.

So now, maybe after this, I wouldn't have to hold back writing pure and honest, lengthy and reflective entries.

And if you think that this is just some excuse to explain my lack of updates, you are so wrong.

Really. I am not kidding.

Oh my word

2005-02-01T05:48:00.000+08:00

On discovering that my grandfather has been using my toothbrush to polish all that is left of his teeth, I am doomed to have his dental woes.

On a lighter note, today's going to be a good day.

You've got to try..

2005-02-01T04:01:00.000+08:00

..to make it all better again.

Sometimes, I just can't help but sigh despairfully after experiencing such an awful and uneventful Monday. It's really wearing me down. Not only does it make the rest of the week feel less inviting, the thought of having to manage and carry yourself through another day that could possibly make you feel worse than you already are, really does nothing for your self-esteem.

C'est la vie.

I just had the worst start to the week. Mondays are so important. They're like breakfast. It's the most important day of the week, because it usually reflects on how the week would end. Usually though, if you've had been struggling through early week, the weekends would feel really satisfying and well earned. I mean, I'm not only speaking in terms of like, common sense, but it often does happen that way. Sometimes, a bad start to the week, toughens you up to live through it so that the weekend would seem so much more rewarding than it really is.

I woke up that morning at 7am. I was severely late for school. I called Arina, and asked her to help me tell our Civics Tutor that I was going to be late. I think that was a good move on my part considering I didn't get punished at all for late-coming. I had actually expected a lecture from her about that, since out CT had made it clear that she was very particular about that aspect of discipline.

The weekend's to blame. I had been the victim of all forms of malevolent procrastination and idleness, and for that I've been punished for my senseless unproductivity. I think I'd do a great job passing off as an onion because I vegetate. A lot. I just stopped functioning the past weekend. I had a lot of things on my mind, and I can't help myself making reckless decisions, such as neglecting my responsibilities.

I think I've let my GP team down. Not that we were intent on winning it all or anything. As much as I wanted to contribute to it, I didn't manage to pull through satisfying that plan. I forgot to bring the spaceship that we needed for the Twin Towers re-enactment scene, so Ruyu had to pretend to be an aeroplane. Also, Ying Yi was so overworked during the weekend. He had a lot of homework to do, so I perfectly understand him not being able to make a proper saw or a proper carboard fire. I don't think Mrs Tan got the impression that we'd really made an effort to make it work, and I totally understand. We're a bunch of unmotivated, angst-ridden, underachieving delinquents. I was just happy that it was over and done with. Fortunately for us, we weren't selected for the GP competition. To me, I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

I get a bit obsessed about winning at times. Maybe that's because victory doesn't know me by name. I've had a lot of chances of winning taken away from me last year by one of my closer friends. Sometimes, the feeling is just not enough. Telling yourself that you've made the effort and that we're all winners just won't suffice. For me, it has to be material. It has to be something I can show to myself and the people around me that I am capable, that I am good for something.
It's this constant struggle that I put myself through, always having to prove myself to others that I am worthy of something. All I have to figure now is what that something is going to be.

You see, I'm not very good at a lot of things. But I won't let this inadequacy impede me of my efforts to achieve. I make the best of what I'm good at, and try to be as open-minded as possible so I'd learn new skills to heighten my versatility.

I suppose I'm fairly versatile. I've been compared to a chameleon on many ocassions. I suppose it's quite flattering to be told that something as unintimidating as myself can be so useful for so many things.

I digress.

By the time GP was over, I was just relieved to get into an air-conditioned lecture theatre for the Economics lecture. But I chose a couple of bad seats today and I had to endure the endless chatter of 3 Ang Mo Kio Secondary School girls who just wouldn't let up. Gosh give it a rest, they'd gone on and on for the whole hour and never stopped to take a breath.

Moniza's so adorable. It's so hilarious how she comes up with little anecdotes to brighten our days, from re-telling stories of girls who stimulate themseves with phallic laboratory apparatus to suggesting shameless yet practical methods of keeping chatterboxes at bay.

I had forgotten to bring along my Short Story. Nevertheless, I tried to fix that little problem and managed to conquer the library's complicated printing system and found myself Roald Dahl's Lamb to the Slaughter. I spent the only half and hour break of the day trying to figure out the proper method of making my payment for printing the story, and had unintendedly dragged Moniza and Nadz into accompanying me. =) Thanks guys.

Okay, so Literature lecture was a bore as usual. We had to do a lot of copying. We had a very light-hearted discussion during the Literature tutorial right after the lecture, and my Short Story had been selected for the read. I suppose my efforts weren't in vain after all.

Now that I've gotten past the projects and having to bring certain things for tutorials, all I've left to complete are my piling homework. I abhor Binomial Theorem. Each question takes a bloody aeon to complete. Each part question takes half of a bloody aeon and some painkillers to complete. I dislike that topic intensely. I destest it for it habour's evil!

When we adjourned for lunch, we discussed on the different degrees of dislike. I will not hesitate to alliterate again given the opportunity. You have been warned.

Oh, and since I was surrounded by girls who were having their periods, I had to listen to them all discuss about their menstrual cycle. Fun. Apparently, cramps are nasty, volatile things that you can't control. By popular belief, withstanding a cramp lying down is much better than taking it sitting down, but every girl has their own method of resisting them. And the RED PILL is better than the WHITE PILL. And apparently, you get addicted to these pills. Oh right, I forgot they're actually also a form of painkillers.

We went to Magic Wok to eat again. This would've been the third time having the same dish. Small talk at the dining table is so entertaining and insightful. Unfortunately, I cannot recall its details. I suppose the topics we'd discuss had been quite trivial then.

I have such great company. The people I hang out with are so fun to be around. And I also kind of get the feeling that I am appreciated by my classmates, but I'm not sure in the right way though. Nevertheless, it feels good to know that people want to be friends with you.

We head back to school for the Saringan discussion for GPA. We only had to pick the songs that day. After that I went to help with the Chinese New Year Float and fought over a wooden plank and then painted one blue. I gave up trying to cut out the shape of a dragon's head with an unsuitable plier after resisting my feeble attempts to succeed.

The people from Pegasus don't know how to curl cellophane. The people from Dragon do. And for that, we are superior. And for some reason, we got really, really high and started laughing inexpicably. We then left for the MLCS room to play Monopoly 'till the late hour of 7.30pm. Arina, Nadz and I took 853 to Yishun to have dinner at Burger King and exercising our constitutional right to purchase a bafflingly inexpensive Student's Whopper meal.

On the way there, we'd indulged in intellectual conversations. I'm too tired to discuss them. And I don't feel like tackling my emotions at this unearthly hour. I have to get ready for school.

I've been blogging for one and a half hours. Go me.

It's so amusing how I woke up this morning at 4 with this great desire to blog. I suppose a lot happened today, and it didn't end too badly after all.

Tomorrow's going to be a long day.

JamX

2005-01-31T01:10:00.000+08:00

Ronin, local rock act, at JamX 2005.

On most days, I feel so unmotivated to blog. Today isn't an exception. I am still lazy to blog. But I figured since so much happened during the past week, and that there'd been so much of my life spent fruitfully, I might as well pen them down before they become the forgotten pieces of disconnected, unchained memories.

The early week was quite forgettable. Nothing exciting happened until mid-week onwards. We had the Annual NYJC Cross Country on Wednesday. I wanted to get a special merit pin for coming in top 50, but I didn't get one so I suppose I didn't come in top 50 then. But I am so confused, the MLCS president said that I'd come in 26th. Liyana's like "Eh, you're quite fast!" when I came down the finish line, and Arina and Nadia hadn't expect me to be running as fast as I did when they saw me while they were doing their Official duties. It's quite disappointing but I am quite satisfied with myself nonetheless. I ran as best as I could and I'd beat a couple of J2s. On top of that, I'm not in any sport or anything, so I suppose I didn't do so badly for an average joe.

Oh, ignore me, I'm just trying to make myself feel better.

On Thursday, during assembly, a bright green bird invaded our class line causing a minor commotion. It must have been injured because it had been unable to fly away and spent quite some time curled beneath one of my classmates' bag. When it did finally emerge, the nosey-parkers surrounding the bag got the shock of their lives as a confused and rather disgruntled bird flew unsteadily causing the students to flee in terror.

Gee, Moniza it's just a bird! After finally evading bird, and hopping to safety among nearby classmates, prompted Moniza to scream, "It attacked me! It attacked me!" According to Zijia, it actually flew on top of my head, but I don't recall that ever happening. All I felt was something brushing against my back. The kind soul who did manage to capture it with the all good intention to release the poor creature into a safer environment, however, placed it on the field.

Great, that's extremely clever, considering the field is green and so is the bird. And since it can't fly very well, and would most probably spend it's time hobbling along, isn't there a great possibility that someone might actually step on it, thus deeming the heroic act of saving it completely redundant?

Have some common sense. That's all I have to say.

I've been trying to help out with Dragon's Chinese New Year Float, but the other J1s are not turning up. There'd always be the same few who do turn up but we end up waiting for the J2s to buy the materials for us to craft parts of the float, which wastes a lot of time. I'd spent a lot of time hanging out in the MLCS room as well. It's really comfortable over there, and there's this cupboard full of boardgames which we'd practically exhausted, but we could never get bored of Carrom. It's so fun and addictive, and Nadz is so good at it I tell you.

Whenever we talk about hanging out in the MLCS room around our CT classmates, they'd always ask if they could come along. Sorry Jonathan, you have to be like, Malay to be admitted into the room, not that we're racists or anything. I'm sure there's an LEP room somewhere that we're not allowed in as well. Who can blame him? No one can resist a game of Carrom.

Even a short game during a half and hour break would suffice. To tell you the truth, I'd never played Carrom much before. They had one in the NPCC room, but I never bothered to play. I'd spend most of the time in there just making a lot of noise and creating senseless chatter.

I did a lot of bonding with the J2s on Friday. Had lunch with them after Friday Prayers. Idzham, Fauwaz, Hafiz and Imran are really nice. I got invited to join Fauwaz's band to perform during College Friendship Week, but seeing how they enjoy playing Simple Plan, I'd have to reconsider. Besides, I haven't touched an electric guitar in years, and I play mostly acoustic songs. But it'll be fun to just sit back and watch them jam.

I'd really love to perform again though. I kind of miss busking for charity, with Vik and Krish. I miss them all in fact. I'm feeling so melancholic right now.

Saturday was a pretty busy day for me. In the morning, Ying Yi, Arina, Jonathan and I gathered in school to 'discuss' the GP project. We spent ¾ of the time at school waiting for people to arrive and then talked about the fantastic script that Ying Yi had written for us for the GP project. We left to go to town afterwards. Arina couldn't join us because she had some class reunion to go to. Anyway, we met up with Huiwen, Lynette, Nadz and Serene at the MRT station and we scooted off to Ngee Ann City for lunch, then to Lucky Plaza to play pool. Nadz and I left at 4 to have an early dinner before meeting Zu and her cousins back at Ngee Ann City for JamX. Liyana and Zu's and Nadz's schoolmate, Nani joined us later.

JamX is an inter-varsity rock band competition, featuring performances by local bands such as Ronin (see pic above) and many others. It was the finals, and 8 talented bands were selected from a preliminary round vying for the $1000 recording contract.

Before JamX, I was a gig virgin. =) But no longer! I am now a full fledged gig whore. Okay, maybe after my notorious misdemeanors during the gig, I'd be labelled a misbehaving gig whore.

Zu's cousin was in the first band that performed that evening. They were called Audio Insanity and they won third prize. We wanted at all cost for the obnoxious SMU band to not win anything at all because they had brought along a horde of disgusting elitist fans who swarmed the front portion of the area blocking the view for the rest of the audience.

The last band, Turning Point was so good. And it's not only because I had big crush on the hot keyboardist who sings like an angel, they also had a cool nerdy violinist and a guy that plays the acoustic. The finals had featured a good spread of genres including punk, alternative and funk and many others. It's good to know that local bands have so much potential.

I can't wait to hear Turning Point on the radio. They won first prize. =)

The second prize went to Breakfast Club. Remember the Singapore Idol reject, who sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow during her audition? One of the Unsung Heroes/Rejects? Yeah, she was singing. Despite being such a powerhouse diva, she was dirty dancing with her co-singer, which was so unsightly. I could see all five of her chins wobbling and she evidently did not put on a bra because her breasts were about to fall out. I didn't want them to win. Not 2nd at least. There were other more deserving bands who performed their hearts out.

And I screamed like a girl that day. The atmosphere was quite exciting when night fell and a group of people stood up front, so we joined them and we had a ball.

Yeah, so that's Week 4. January's coming to an end. Can't wait for February. I'm turning 17 soon. Oh yeah, and I took a shit load of pictures throughout the whole week and I can't wait to post them. Sadly though, I'm in very few of them.

Isn't she adorable?

2005-01-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

Someone sedated my little cousin. So how did she get from this...

...to this?

What have they been feeding her!?

Okay, okay, I'll tell you. This fiesty little kid is actually dancing to Destiny's Child - Lose My Breath. She loves Beyonce Knowles. One day, the music video played on MTV and she began dancing. We had a family gathering yesterday, and she'd easily stolen the thunder. I suppose, for my own entertainment, I wouldn't mind having that mp3 on my computer, even though it's highly disturbing to have pop music on my playlist.

By the way, it's my first time posting pictures, and I am feeling quite accomplished. I think it's time I brought my camera to school. =)

Lecture Week.

2005-01-16T01:34:00.000+08:00

When someone asks you to help him or her mark their attendance for a lecture they're not planning on attending, what do you do?

If you're the uptight, beetle-browed, and insanely insecure sort and thinks bending the rules just a little bit would be committing a cardinal sin, you'd reply with a vicious snarl.

If you're part of the general population of students who really don't think skipping class is a big deal, you'd go ahead and grant his or her request, and at the same time, hope and pray that you don't get into trouble doing so.

If you're a stuck-up know-it-all, you'd probably tell on the person, and have no friends for the rest of your time in that institution.

Reviewing my current social status on an early Friday morning, I could only sigh at my remarkable ineptitude. The weekened was imminent, and time was running out. I ran out of legitimate things to blame for this sense of social incompetence that's taking over me. It wasn't as if I had some sort of quota to fill, but I did expect to have a reasonable number of friends by the end of the week.

Or should I just proceed to severely critique my social abilities? Or rather the lack of it.

Oh, if you're still curious, deciding what to do for Ellis took close to 0.2 seconds. Of course I marked her attendance for her. I would never pass on friends. But she missed a really good video presentation though. The Literature teachers decided to play 12 Storeys by Eric Khoo for us. It's so engaging, and I really want to know what happens in the end.

It was lecture week basically. It was horrendously boring. Meeting our classmates and interacting with them on Thursday had to be the most fun part of the week. Our class continued to dissolve itself to a pathetic number of 16 after 2 students left our class.

Our Civics Tutor talks in such a patronising manner. It's as if we're 5 or something. She insists that things are done by her book and she is extremely picky or as she'd like to say, "sticky" about punctuality. Gliding into line during the National Anthem would be considered as being late. But don't get me wrong. She's not the sort that you'd hate intensely, she doesn't punish students excessively or send students for detention class over petty issues. I suppose she's quite merciful.

PE is tough. But I still enjoy it. I suppose they're preparing us for National Service.

This is becoming more of a weekly blog. I really shouldn't do that.

Fun Facts

2005-01-13T15:12:00.000+08:00

I have an ugly-girl fetish.

I'll pause for a while to let that little fact sink into your brains.

Also, I dislike agressive women.

I could go on forever about Fact #2, but I shall spare you the verbal harm.

As for Fact #1, I shall allow the lack of details to serve as a favourable condition for continued states of shock, and in most cases, involuntary nausea. But then again, unless you're bulimic or anorexic, nausea is almost never voluntary.

But I'll leave you with this normative statement, though. Unattractive girls have better personalities.

If you don't know what normative means, pay attention more during your Economics lectures, and stop trying to chat up other girls.